How Trauma Impacts Emotional Regulation

You know how emotions can sometimes feel like they have a mind of their own? Especially when you've been through something traumatic? That's exactly what we're going to talk about today.

For many women, the aftermath of trauma creates a complicated relationship with their emotions. Maybe you've found yourself unable to cry when you want to, or perhaps you feel emotions so intensely that they seem to consume you entirely. You might wonder why you can't "just get over it" or why certain situations trigger emotional responses that feel out of your control. These experiences can be isolating, confusing, and exhausting.

How Reading This Blog Can Help You

If this sounds familiar, first, I want you to know you're not broken. What you're experiencing is your brain's incredibly sophisticated (if sometimes frustrating) way of protecting you from pain. Those emotional patterns after trauma—whether it's numbness, flooding, or that rollercoaster between the two—developed for a reason. They helped you survive experiences that felt impossible to bear at the time.

Throughout this post, we'll explore how different kinds of trauma—childhood experiences, difficult relationships, sexual trauma—can reshape your emotional landscape. We'll look at what's actually happening in your nervous system when emotions seem either impossible to access or completely overwhelming. And most importantly, we'll talk about how therapy approaches like EMDR therapy, somatic work, and parts work therapy can help you rebuild a relationship with your emotions that feels more balanced and authentic.

How Trauma Changes Your Emotional Responses

When we talk about trauma and emotions, we're really talking about your nervous system's brilliant (if sometimes frustrating) survival strategies. Let me explain what I mean. When you experience trauma—whether it's childhood trauma like growing up with an unpredictable parent, sexual trauma, or a toxic relationship—your brain doesn't just store those memories like regular memories. It actually changes how your entire emotional system operates. I see this play out in three main patterns with the women I work with:

Pattern 1: Emotional Numbness

For some, it's like the emotional volume knob gets turned way down. "I know I should feel something at my sister's wedding," a client once told me, "but I felt nothing. Just...empty." This emotional numbness isn't you being cold or detached—it's your brain protecting you from feelings that once seemed dangerous to experience.

Pattern 2: Emotional Intensity

For others, that volume knob gets cranked all the way up. Everything feels intense—a small criticism might trigger a wave of shame that feels overwhelming, or a minor disappointment leads to tears that won't stop. This isn't you being "too emotional"—it's your nervous system on high alert, trying to keep you safe by responding quickly and intensely to potential threats.

Pattern 3: Emotional Volatility

And many women swing between these two states, feeling emotionally flat one moment and overwhelmed the next. This unpredictability isn't a sign of instability—it's your system trying different strategies to navigate a world it learned was unsafe.

The Adaptive Nature of Trauma Responses

Here's what's important to understand: These patterns developed for good reason. They helped you survive. The problem is that they often stick around long after they're useful, like an alarm system that keeps going off when there's no danger.

The Path to Healing

The good news? Your brain is remarkably adaptable. The same neuroplasticity that created these protective patterns can help you develop new ones—patterns that allow you to feel your emotions without being either numb to them or overwhelmed by them. That's exactly what effective trauma therapy helps you do.

Recognizing the Signs of Trauma-Related Emotional Difficulties

Let's talk about how trauma shows up in our bodies and minds, and what this might look like in your everyday life—because recognizing these patterns is the first step toward changing them.

Physical Signs of Trauma in the Body

When it comes to your body, trauma loves to hide in plain sight. That tension headache that keeps coming back? The knot in your stomach before certain social events? Your body keeps the score, as they say. I had a client who'd been dealing with jaw pain for years before we connected it to her holding tension there whenever she felt unsafe—a pattern that started after her trauma. Your body might be sending you signals that your mind hasn't quite decoded yet.

Emotional Response Patterns

And emotionally? Well, that's where things get really interesting. You might find yourself in an emotional desert—where you know you "should" feel something at your best friend's wedding or when watching a sad movie, but it's just... not there. Or maybe you're on the opposite end, where a slightly critical comment sends you into a spiral of hurt that seems way bigger than the situation calls for. Both are completely normal responses to trauma. Your emotional system adapted to protect you, and it's doing exactly what it learned to do.

Cognitive Impacts and Self-Talk

Your thoughts get in on this action too. That voice in your head saying "What's wrong with me?" or "I shouldn't feel this way"? That's trauma talking. Many women I work with describe being unable to name what they're feeling—they know something's happening emotionally, but it's like trying to identify a shape in dense fog. This confusion isn't because you're emotionally stunted—it's because trauma disrupts how we process and make sense of our emotional experiences.

Relational Challenges

Perhaps the most painful part shows up in your relationships. You might notice yourself holding people at arm's length, even those you want to be close to. Or maybe you find yourself overanalyzing texts, assuming negative intentions, or feeling disconnected during intimate moments. One woman told me, "I feel like I'm watching myself in relationships rather than actually being in them." That dissociation is a clever (if ultimately limiting) way your brain protects you from potential hurt.

Understanding the Connection to Your Nervous System

All these signs aren't random quirks or character flaws—they're directly connected to how your nervous system adapted to keep you safe. Understanding this connection is incredibly liberating because it moves us from "What's wrong with me?" to "Oh, this makes sense given what I've experienced." And once something makes sense, we can work with it in therapy to develop new patterns that better serve your present life. 

How Trauma Therapy Helps Heal Emotional Regulation Problems 

When it comes to healing trauma and reconnecting with your emotions, therapy offers some powerful pathways forward. I've seen remarkable transformations in women who thought they'd never feel "normal" again.

There are several effective trauma therapy approaches for healing emotional numbness and overwhelm:

EMDR

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR therapy) is a specialized approach that helps your brain process traumatic memories differently. Using bilateral stimulation (like eye movements or taps), EMDR helps your brain file traumatic memories away properly—as past events rather than current threats. A client once told me, "After EMDR, I can remember what happened, but it doesn't hijack my emotions anymore. It feels like it's finally in the past."

Somatic Therapy

Somatic therapy focuses on the body-mind connection, recognizing that trauma lives in your body as much as in your thoughts. This approach helps you notice and release physical tension patterns that maintain emotional disconnection. By learning to track sensations in your body, you develop a new relationship with your emotions—one where feelings become physical signals you can understand rather than overwhelming experiences you need to avoid.

Internal Family Systems

Internal Family Systems or "parts work therapy": Think of your mind like a team. When trauma happens, certain team members step up to protect you. Some might numb your feelings entirely, while others might flood you with emotion—both strategies designed to keep you safe.

This is what we call "parts work." Rather than viewing these responses as problems, we see them as dedicated protectors with good intentions.

The beauty of this approach is in the dialogue. When we sit with these parts and genuinely listen, we can honor their protective mission while gently exploring whether there might be less restrictive ways they could care for you now. It's not about eliminating these protectors—it's about building a relationship where they can evolve their strategies as you heal.

What Progress Can You Expect

 Progress often shows up in subtle ways at first. You might notice you can stay present during a difficult conversation instead of shutting down. Or maybe you tear up during a movie when previously you would have felt nothing. One client shared, "I knew something was changing when I got angry at my partner and could express it clearly without either exploding or going ice-cold."

 The great thing about trauma therapy is that it doesn't just help you manage symptoms—it actually helps your brain and nervous system develop new, more flexible patterns. The goal isn't to never feel difficult emotions—it's to develop a relationship with all your emotions where they inform you rather than control you.

Conclusion

When you've been through trauma, your relationship with emotions can feel complicated and at times overwhelming. But understanding the connection between your past experiences and your current emotional patterns can be the first step toward healing.

Remember that those patterns—whether it's emotional numbness after trauma, flooding, or the rollercoaster between the two—developed for a reason. They were your mind and body's way of protecting you when you needed that protection most. There's wisdom and resilience in these adaptations, even if they're no longer serving you well.

Trauma therapy offers a path toward reconnecting with your emotions in a way that feels manageable and authentic. Through approaches like EMDR therapy, somatic therapy, and parts work, you can develop a new relationship with your feelings—one where emotions provide valuable information rather than either disappearing or overwhelming you.

Taking the Next Step

If what you've read resonates with your experience, I invite you to take a small step forward on your healing journey from trauma. Our trauma therapists offer free 15-minute phone consultations where we can discuss your specific situation and see if we might be a good fit for working together.

During this consultation, you'll have the chance to ask questions, learn more about our approach to trauma therapy, and get a sense of whether it feels right for you. There's no obligation to continue beyond this initial conversation—it's simply an opportunity to explore possibilities. To schedule your free consultation, you can click the "get started" button at the top of this page.

Taking that first step can feel daunting, but it's also the beginning of reclaiming your emotional well-being. Whenever you're ready, we're here to support you on that journey.

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Sheldon Reisman, LISW-S, a licensed trauma therapist specializing in EMDR, somatic therapy, and parts work for women in Cincinnati.

Beyond Survival: What is Post-Traumatic Growth?

Trauma has a way of dividing life into "before" and "after." In the aftermath, many people who have experienced trauma find themselves stuck in a perpetual state of simply trying to get through each day. The goal becomes avoiding triggers, managing symptoms, and maintaining a fragile sense of stability. While these are necessary steps in healing, they're only the beginning of the journey. 

For many trauma survivors, a "good day" is defined by what *didn't* happen—no panic attacks, no flashbacks, no overwhelming anxiety. The absence of pain becomes the measure of success. But is the absence of suffering really the same as thriving? Is "not bad" the same as "good"? 

The Limbo of No Trauma

If you've ever caught yourself thinking, "I'm not even sure what happiness would look like anymore," or "I don't know what I want, just not this," you're not alone. This state—where survival has replaced living—is common among trauma survivors. But there's something beyond this limbo, something researchers call "post-traumatic growth." 

In this post, we'll explore how trauma narrows our vision of what's possible, what post-traumatic growth actually means, and how therapy can help bridge the gap between merely surviving and truly living again. The simple awareness that growth is possible can be the first step toward a more meaningful life after trauma.

Understanding the Survival Mindset

When your nervous system has been rewired by trauma, the world becomes a different place. Threats seem to lurk everywhere. Your brain, doing exactly what it's designed to do, shifts into protection mode. Safety becomes the priority, often at the expense of joy, connection, and meaning. You might think of this as learning to cope with PTSD.  

The Neutral Baseline Trap 

In the aftermath of trauma, many survivors fall into what therapists sometimes call the "neutral baseline trap." This is the belief that the best you can hope for is the absence of distress—a kind of emotional neutral zone where you're not actively suffering, but not truly flourishing either. 

The trap works like this: After experiencing the depths of trauma, even feeling "okay" can seem like a victory. And it is! But over time, this survival-oriented mindset can become so ingrained that you forget to ask what might lie beyond it. The goal posts for a "good life" move from thriving to merely surviving. 

Recognizing the Survival Mindset 

The survival mindset manifests in subtle yet pervasive ways. You might notice yourself measuring good days primarily by what didn't happen—no anxiety attacks, no nightmares, no triggers. The question "What would make you happy?" feels impossible to answer beyond the vague notion of avoiding discomfort. There's often a persistent sense of waiting, as if your real life is on hold until you feel completely safe. Pleasure might feel foreign, dangerous, or undeserved, and imagining a future substantially different from your present seems out of reach. 

Many trauma survivors experience a moment of clarity when they realize they've been operating in survival mode. The first step toward growth is recognizing that your current state of "not bad" isn't the only option available to you. This awareness itself can be the beginning of a profound shift in how you approach healing. 

What is Post-Traumatic Growth? 

Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) is a term coined by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun in the 1990s to describe the positive psychological changes that can emerge following challenging life circumstances. Unlike resilience, which refers to bouncing back to your pre-trauma state, PTG describes how some people actually experience profound positive transformation as a result of their struggle with trauma. 

To be clear: PTG doesn't mean the trauma itself was positive or that suffering is somehow beneficial. Rather, it recognizes that the process of rebuilding after trauma can sometimes lead to unexpected growth and development.

The Dimensions of Post-Traumatic Growth

Research has identified several areas where survivors often experience meaningful change. Many develop a greater appreciation for life, finding value in simple moments and shifting their priorities toward what truly matters. Relationships often deepen as survivors experience enhanced compassion and willingness to connect authentically with others. New possibilities emerge as survivors discover paths and interests they wouldn't have considered before their trauma. Many recognize newfound personal strength, embracing the realization that surviving trauma has revealed inner resources they didn't know they possessed. Some experience spiritual or existential growth, developing a clearer understanding of life's meaning and purpose. 

Importantly, post-traumatic growth doesn't necessarily mean the absence of distress. Many people experience both ongoing difficulties related to their trauma and meaningful growth simultaneously. These seemingly contradictory experiences can and do coexist.

The Gap Between Survival and Thriving

One of the most challenging aspects of trauma recovery is the difficulty in envisioning what lies beyond survival. When your nervous system has been in a prolonged state of high alert, simply feeling safe can seem like the ultimate goal. The idea of thriving—of pursuing dreams, experiencing joy, or finding purpose—can feel distant, unrealistic, or even frightening. 

The Challenge of Seeing Beyond Survival 

Imagining a fulfilling life after trauma presents numerous obstacles. The biological impact of trauma reconfigures your threat-detection systems, keeping you physiologically focused on danger rather than opportunity. Your very sense of identity may have been disrupted, making it difficult to recognize your own wants and desires. Extended periods of powerlessness often create a sense of learned helplessness that undermines belief in your ability to shape your future. Growth inherently requires opening yourself to new experiences—a proposition that feels inherently risky when your system is primed for self-protection. Perhaps most fundamentally, trauma often involves a profound betrayal that damages your ability to trust that good things can happen and last. 

When survival has been your priority, setting goals for growth can feel almost impossible. Many trauma survivors report feeling blank when asked what they want in life. Without a clear vision of what "better" looks like, the path forward remains obscured.

For many trauma survivors, reconnecting with pre-trauma interests provides a vital bridge between mere survival and genuine growth. Even when these activities feel different now, they offer a glimpse of possibilities beyond the confines of the survival mindset. 

First Steps Toward Growth

If you’re wondering how to heal after trauma, the first step is recognizing that healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about expanding what’s possible for your future. Therapy, self-reflection, and small, intentional steps toward joy can help you move beyond survival. A trauma-therapist can guide you in creating a healing plan tailored to your unique needs, whether that includes EMDR, somatic therapy, or anxiety therapy in Cincinnati.

In a similar way, moving from survival to growth isn't about forcing yourself to "get over it" or pushing beyond your comfort zone too quickly. Instead, it's about gently expanding your vision of what's possible and taking small, manageable steps toward a more fulfilling life.

Pathways to Possibility

The journey toward growth begins with gentle self-reflection. Consider reconnecting with pre-trauma joys by reflecting on activities that once brought you pleasure, interests that sparked your curiosity, and pursuits that made time seem to disappear because you were so engaged. Explore your core values by considering what you would want your life to stand for if fear wasn't a factor, what qualities you admire in others, and moments when you've felt most proud of yourself. Without pressuring yourself to act immediately, allow yourself to imagine possibilities: what you might do with your life if healing were complete, what a meaningful day would entail, and what small elements of that vision you could incorporate now. 

Growth occurs at the edge of your comfort zone—not miles beyond it. This expansion begins with a foundation of relative safety, then progresses through micro-steps that break actions into their smallest possible components. The journey requires self-compassion as you navigate inevitable setbacks, celebrating the courage of attempts rather than focusing solely on outcomes. Many find the "10% rule" helpful—pushing just slightly beyond comfort without venturing into overwhelming territory.

This journey rarely unfolds in isolation. Safe, supportive relationships provide the secure base from which exploration becomes possible. Trusted friends and family, support groups of fellow survivors, trauma-informed therapists, and specialized online communities all offer contexts where growth can be nurtured and celebrated.

How Therapy Can Support Your Growth Journey 

While growth can happen in many contexts, therapy offers a unique space dedicated to your healing and development. A skilled trauma therapist can help you navigate the complex terrain between trauma and growth. 

Therapy as a Catalyst for Growth

 A skilled trauma therapist creates a unique space where growth becomes possible. This professional relationship offers safety that allows exploration beyond established boundaries while helping identify and challenge limiting beliefs that perpetuate survival mode. The therapist validates that your survival adaptations made perfect sense in context while gently offering perspective on possibilities beyond current limitations. As you begin to expand your comfort zone, they support you in processing emerging emotions and developing skills to manage distress during growth. Perhaps most importantly, they bear witness to your evolving story in a way that emphasizes strength and possibility. 

When considering therapy as part of your growth journey, reflect on your readiness to explore beyond survival, what kind of therapeutic relationship might provide sufficient security for growth, which aspects of your current mindset feel most limiting, and what you might hope to gain beyond mere symptom reduction.

Putting It All Together

The journey from trauma to growth isn't quick or straightforward. It's a winding path with setbacks, plateaus, and unexpected turns. Some days, survival might still be all you can manage—and that's okay. Survival itself is an achievement worth honoring.

 What matters is the expansion of possibility—the growing awareness that there might be more to life than the absence of pain. Simply recognizing that you deserve more than mere survival can be transformative. 

Post-traumatic growth doesn't erase what happened to you. It doesn't mean you won't still struggle with the impacts of trauma. But it does mean that trauma doesn't get the final word on who you are or what your life can become.

The poet Rumi wrote, "The wound is the place where the Light enters you." While no one would choose trauma as a path to growth, many survivors discover unexpected strength, deeper connections, and renewed purpose through their healing journey.

Reaching Out For Help

Healing after trauma isn’t something you have to do alone. While self-reflection and small steps toward growth are powerful, working with a therapist who has expertise in healing trauma can help you move beyond survival. If you're struggling with anxiety, PTSD, or the lingering effects of trauma, consider reaching out to one of the local trauma therapists at Therapy Cincinnati. We would love to help you navigate post-traumatic growth, rebuild a sense of safety, and rediscover what a fulfilling life can look like. You deserve more than just survival—you deserve to truly thrive.

How Activation Energy Caused by Trauma Is Held

Trauma affects us deeply, shaping not only our emotional experiences but also how our bodies and minds respond to the world around us. One way this happens is through the concept of activation energy. Activation energy refers to the heightened state of readiness or arousal that trauma imprints on our nervous system. This lingering energy, while protective in moments of danger, can become trapped, creating challenges long after the traumatic event has passed.

Understanding Activation Energy

When a traumatic event occurs, the body instinctively enters a fight, flight, or freeze response. This reaction is meant to help us survive by mobilizing all available energy toward dealing with the threat. Heart rates spike, breathing quickens, and muscles tense, ready for action.

In many cases, once the danger has passed, the body naturally returns to a state of calm. However, when trauma is unresolved, this energy can remain "stuck." It’s as if the body continues to hold onto that readiness for survival, even when there’s no immediate threat. This lingering activation can manifest in the form of anxiety, hypervigilance, or chronic stress.

Where Is Activation Energy Held?

Trauma doesn’t just live in our memories—it’s held in the body. Research shows that traumatic energy is often stored in the nervous system and muscles. Tight shoulders, clenched jaws, or an unrelenting sense of restlessness might all be signs of this stored activation energy.

For some, this energy can feel like a heavy weight in the chest or a constant fluttering in the stomach. Others might experience it as an inability to relax or a feeling of always being "on edge." These sensations are the body’s way of signaling that it hasn’t yet released the energy from the trauma.

The Role of the Nervous System

Our nervous system plays a central role in how activation energy is held. Trauma often disrupts the balance between the sympathetic nervous system (responsible for arousal) and the parasympathetic nervous system (responsible for relaxation). In a healthy state, these systems work together to help us respond to stress and recover.

However, trauma can cause the sympathetic nervous system to remain overactive. This creates a constant state of hyperarousal, where the body feels like it’s perpetually bracing for impact. Over time, this imbalance can take a toll, leading to issues such as chronic fatigue, digestive problems, or even autoimmune conditions.

The Emotional Weight of Activation Energy

Emotionally, activation energy can feel like a constant undercurrent of unease. Even in moments of safety or joy, there might be a sense of waiting for the other shoe to drop. This happens because trauma alters the way the brain perceives danger.

The amygdala, which is responsible for processing threats, becomes hypersensitive after trauma. This heightened sensitivity means that even small stressors can trigger an exaggerated response. It’s not uncommon to feel overwhelmed or to react strongly to situations that others might find minor. This isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s the body’s way of trying to protect itself.

How Activation Energy Impacts Daily Life

When activation energy is held in the body, it can influence nearly every aspect of daily life. Relationships might feel strained because it’s difficult to trust or feel safe. Sleep might be elusive, as the body struggles to shift out of alert mode. Even moments of relaxation can feel uncomfortable, as the mind races with "what-ifs."

For some, this stored energy can lead to patterns of avoidance. Certain places, people, or situations may feel triggering, leading to a shrinking of the world around them. Over time, this can create a cycle of isolation, where the unresolved trauma continues to hold power.

Releasing Activation Energy

Releasing activation energy begins with creating safety—both physically and emotionally. Practices like deep breathing, grounding exercises, or gentle movement can help signal to the nervous system that it’s okay to relax. These techniques work by engaging the parasympathetic nervous system, which helps counteract the hyperarousal caused by trauma.

Therapeutic approaches like somatic experiencing or EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) are also highly effective in addressing stored trauma. These methods focus on helping the body process and release the energy held within, rather than simply talking about the experience.

For example, somatic experiencing involves tuning into the body’s sensations and allowing the energy to discharge naturally. This might look like noticing a tightness in the chest and allowing it to soften through intentional focus. EMDR, on the other hand, uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain reprocess traumatic memories, reducing their emotional charge.

The Importance of Professional Support

Most people find that healing from trauma is almost impossible to do alone. A trauma therapist can provide the tools, guidance, and support needed to begin to heal and recover from the trauma you’ve been through. They can help create a safe space for exploring and releasing activation energy in a way that feels manageable.

Therapy also helps address the root causes of trauma, rather than just its symptoms. This can lead to deeper healing, greater self-awareness, and a renewed sense of empowerment. Seeking help is a courageous step toward reclaiming control over your life.

Self-Compassion in the Healing Process

One of the most important aspects of healing is practicing self-compassion. Trauma can leave behind feelings of shame or self-blame, but it’s crucial to remember that your responses are not your fault. The body and mind are doing their best to protect you, even if those responses no longer serve you.

Give yourself permission to move at your own pace. Healing is not linear, and it’s okay to have setbacks. Celebrate the small victories—whether it’s noticing when your shoulders relax or feeling a moment of peace. These are signs that your body is learning to release the activation energy it’s been holding.

Building a Foundation for Resilience

As the body begins to release stored trauma, resilience grows. This doesn’t mean the past is forgotten, but rather that its grip loosens. You might find yourself better able to handle stress, connect with others, or feel present in the moment.

Incorporating practices like mindfulness, yoga, or creative expression can further support this process. These activities help rebuild the connection between mind and body, fostering a sense of wholeness. Over time, the nervous system learns that it’s safe to let go of the activation energy and embrace a calmer state.

A Journey Toward Freedom

The energy caused by trauma doesn’t have to stay stuck forever. With the right tools, support, and patience, it’s possible to release this energy and move toward a life of greater peace. Whether through therapy, self-care practices, or simply taking small steps each day, healing is within reach.

Releasing activation energy is not about erasing the past—it’s about transforming it. It’s about reclaiming your power and creating a future where you feel safe, grounded, and free. And most importantly, it’s about knowing that you deserve this healing, every step of the way.

If you’re ready to let go of the activation energy of trauma you have experienced, reach out to the expert trauma therapists at Therapy Cincinnati. We specialize in helping people heal from trauma, and we utilize cutting edge types of therapy, such as EMDR, Somatic therapy, and parts work/IFS.

What Is Big and Little T Trauma?

Trauma is a word that gets used a lot these days, but it’s not always clear what it means. At its core, trauma is any experience that overwhelms your ability to cope. It leaves a lasting impact on your mind and body, sometimes shaping the way you see the world and respond to it. Trauma can look different for everyone, which is why it’s helpful to think of it in terms of “big T” and “little t” trauma.

Understanding Big T Trauma

Big T trauma refers to significant, life-altering events that feel catastrophic. These experiences often include a serious threat to your safety or the safety of someone you care about. Examples include car accidents, physical or sexual assault, natural disasters, or surviving a war. These events are so overwhelming that they often leave a deep psychological and emotional imprint.

The effects of big T trauma are what people typically associate with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Symptoms might include flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigilance, or emotional numbness. These reactions are your brain’s way of trying to protect you, even if they feel like they’re making life harder.

What Is Little t Trauma?

Little t trauma, on the other hand, involves smaller, less dramatic events that still disrupt your sense of safety or well-being. These might include losing a job, being bullied, a painful breakup, or ongoing criticism from a parent. While these experiences might not seem “big enough” to count as trauma, they can still have a profound effect.

Little t trauma often builds up over time, especially if it happens repeatedly or in combination with other stressors. For example, a single instance of rejection might not feel traumatic, but years of being put down or ignored can erode your self-esteem and make you feel unsafe in relationships. These smaller experiences can be just as significant as big T trauma when it comes to shaping how you feel and function.

Why Do These Distinctions Matter?

Understanding the difference between big T and little t trauma can help you make sense of your experiences. It’s easy to dismiss your struggles if you think, “Well, I haven’t been through anything that bad.” But trauma isn’t a competition. Both big and little t traumas can leave emotional scars that deserve attention and care.

Knowing the type of trauma you’re dealing with can also guide the kind of support you might need. Big T trauma might call for more intensive treatments like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) or somatic therapies that work directly with your body’s stress responses. Little t trauma can benefit from talk therapy or expressive therapies that help reframe your thinking and build resilience.

How Trauma Affects the Brain and Body

Trauma, big or small, affects the brain in similar ways. When you experience something overwhelming, your brain’s alarm system goes into overdrive. It floods your body with stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol to help you survive. But when the danger is gone, the brain doesn’t always know how to switch off that alarm.

This is why trauma can feel like it’s stuck inside you. Certain sounds, smells, or situations might remind your brain of what happened, triggering a response as if the event is happening all over again. Over time, this can affect your mood, your ability to trust others, and even your physical health.

The Cumulative Effect of Little t Trauma

One of the most misunderstood aspects of little t trauma is how it can build up over time. Imagine carrying a small pebble in your pocket. It doesn’t feel heavy at first, but over time, those pebbles add up until they feel like a boulder. Each small event—being ignored, feeling rejected, experiencing subtle discrimination—adds weight to that burden.

This cumulative effect can leave you feeling exhausted, anxious, or even numb without understanding why. Just because little t trauma is subtle doesn’t mean it’s any less real. It’s important to give yourself permission to acknowledge the impact these experiences have had on you.

Healing From Trauma

The good news is that trauma, whether big T or little t, is something you can heal from. Healing doesn’t mean erasing what happened—it means finding ways to move forward without being defined by it. Therapy is one of the most effective ways to do this.

A skilled therapist can help you process your experiences in a safe and supportive environment. For big T trauma, treatments like EMDR, somatic therapy, or IFS/parts work can help rewire your brain’s response to painful memories. For little t trauma, therapy can help you unpack those smaller moments, make connections, and build tools for resilience.

Self-Compassion Is Key

Healing from trauma also involves treating yourself with compassion. Trauma often leaves behind feelings of guilt, shame, or self-blame. It’s important to remind yourself that your feelings are valid and that you did the best you could at the time.

Practices like mindfulness, journaling, or connecting with supportive friends can help you rebuild a sense of safety and self-worth. Even small acts of self-care, like taking a walk or setting boundaries, send a powerful message to yourself: "I matter, and I deserve to feel safe."

When to Seek Professional Support

Sometimes, trauma feels too big to handle on your own. If you find yourself feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unable to function the way you want, it’s time to reach out for help. A trauma therapist can provide the guidance and tools you need to navigate your healing journey.

Trauma therapy isn’t about reliving the pain—it’s about finding ways to make sense of it and regain control over your life. Whether you’re dealing with big T or little t trauma, therapy offers a safe space to work through your feelings and build a future that feels more hopeful and secure.

Both big and little t trauma deserve attention and care. No matter what you’ve been through, your feelings are valid, and healing is possible. By seeking support, practicing self-compassion, and taking small steps toward growth, you can reclaim your sense of safety and begin to thrive again. Remember, reaching out for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a courageous step toward a healthier, happier you.

What is Micro Reading, and How is it Connected to Trauma?

Micro reading is a subtle and often unconscious behavior where someone scans the tiny, almost imperceptible cues in another person’s facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language to gauge their emotions or intentions. It’s like reading between the lines, looking for hidden meanings in the smallest gestures or words.

While this heightened sensitivity can sometimes help in understanding others, it can also become overwhelming, especially for individuals who have experienced trauma. For those dealing with past trauma, micro reading can be an automatic response, a way to protect themselves from potential harm or rejection. However, this behavior can ironically lead to increased anxiety, stress, and difficulty trusting others.

How Does Trauma Affect Us?

Trauma can deeply affect the way people perceive and interact with the world. When someone has experienced trauma, particularly emotional, physical, or relational trauma, they may become hyper-vigilant—constantly on alert for danger or negative outcomes. Micro reading often develops as a defense mechanism in these situations. It’s a way for the brain to stay alert, scanning for subtle signs of conflict or danger in an effort to avoid further harm. While this can feel necessary to protect oneself, it also means living in a constant state of high alert, which can be exhausting and damaging over time.

Micro reading is particularly common in people who have grown up in homes where there was often fighting, especially fighting involving adults. For children, fighting is often scary and overwhelming, and children often try to “read” the atmosphere to see if anyone looks like they may be angry or about to be angry.

People who micro read others also tend to have experienced “egg shell walking” while as a child. Both of these are defense mechanisms that people use to reduce the chances of getting hurt by trying to see if there is danger present around us.

How Micro Reading Causes Problems

One of the problems with micro reading is that it can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary stress. When someone is constantly looking for hidden meanings or signals of danger, they often tend to misinterpret harmless interactions. A slight pause in a conversation, a neutral facial expression, or a casual comment can be blown out of proportion, leading to feelings of rejection, fear, or insecurity. This can also cause ruminating thoughts, where someone has racing thoughts and constantly reviews interactions they had with someone else. Over time, this can strain relationships, as the person doing the micro reading may begin to pull away or become defensive, believing they are under attack when they are not. 

Another significant connection between micro reading and trauma is the way it impacts emotional regulation. When a person is hyper-focused on reading others, they often neglect their own emotional needs. They may become so consumed with anticipating the feelings or reactions of others that they lose touch with their own emotions. This can lead to emotional exhaustion, increased anxiety, and difficulty managing stress. It can also lead to a lack of connection with themselves, such as not knowing what they are feeling, or even their favorite color or food. For trauma survivors, learning to shift the focus back to their own feelings and responses, rather than constantly monitoring others, is an important step in healing.

How to Stop Micro Reading

Breaking free from the habit of micro reading can be quite challenging, especially for those who have relied on it for years as a way to feel safe. One of the most effective ways to address this behavior is through therapy from a local, expert therapist who is trained in trauma. If you live in Cincinnati, you could benefit from working with a therapist who can help individuals recognize when they are engaging in micro reading and provide tools for breaking the cycle. One of the most helpful tools in changing this pattern is learning about safety. Many people who have experienced trauma often don’t fully know what safety feels like, and therapy can help people learn to recognize when it is safe and relax.

Therapy Can Help Rebuild Trust

Therapy can also help trauma survivors rebuild trust in their relationships. Many people who engage in micro reading do so because they find it difficult to trust others, especially if they have been hurt or betrayed in the past. In a safe therapeutic environment, individuals can work through their trust issues and learn to develop healthier, more balanced ways of interacting with others. By focusing on their own emotional needs and learning to communicate openly, they can gradually reduce the need to rely on micro reading as a way of navigating relationships.

While any type of therapy is helpful, people with trauma often find that in person therapy is particularly effective in helping them. We at Therapy Cincinnati are proud to offer in person sessions at our office location in Montgomery, right off of I-71 and near Blue Ash.

The Impact of Trauma

It’s important to remember that trauma can have a profound impact on how we view the world and interact with others. Micro reading is just one of the ways that trauma survivors try to protect themselves, but it’s not always helpful in the long run. While it may feel like a necessary survival skill, it can lead to more harm than good, especially when it results in misunderstanding or emotional exhaustion. Healing from trauma involves recognizing these patterns and learning new ways of relating to others that are based on trust and openness rather than fear and hyper-vigilance.

Finding a Local Cincinnati Trauma Therapist

Seeking professional support is a vital part of this healing process, and you should seek out a therapist located in your area. Therapy offers a safe, non-judgmental space to explore the roots of micro reading and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Whether through types of therapy such as EMDR, parts work, attachment-based therapy, or other therapeutic approaches, individuals can learn to let go of the need for constant vigilance and instead focus on building more authentic, trusting relationships. Healing from trauma is a journey, but with the right support, it’s possible to move beyond the patterns that keep you stuck in fear and start living with greater emotional freedom.

Getting The Help That You Deserve 

In conclusion, micro reading is a coping mechanism often tied to trauma, where individuals scan for subtle cues in others to avoid potential harm. While it may feel protective, this behavior can lead to misunderstandings, increased anxiety, and difficulty trusting others. By recognizing this behavior and seeking professional support, trauma survivors can learn to shift their focus back to their own emotional needs and develop healthier, more balanced ways of interacting with the world. Through therapy and mindfulness, individuals can begin the journey toward healing, letting go of fear and finding greater peace in their relationships.

When you are ready to change the way you interact with the world, and are ready to move past trauma you may have been through, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are available to help. We are local expert therapists, who specialize in helping people recover from trauma, and we are here to help. Please reach out to schedule a free 15-minute consultation call today.

How is Dissociation Connected with Trauma?

Trauma can affect people in many different ways, and one of the most common is something called dissociation. Dissociation happens when a person feels disconnected from themselves or their surroundings, almost like they are daydreaming or zoning out. Trauma and dissociation have a strong link to each other, as we’ll explain.

As we’ll discuss, it’s normal to dissociate, and all of us do it at least some of the time. For example, you might get lost in your thoughts and not notice what’s happening around you for a few minutes. You may be reading a really good book, and you get so absorbed in it that you might not hear someone calling your name right away. Or, you’re driving home and your mind is busy thinking about your day. When you get home, you realize you don’t remember much of your drive.

Many people don’t know about dissociation, and how what they may be experiencing could be unhealthy levels of dissociation. In fact, people with more significant dissociation are often surprised to learn that there’s a name for something they frequently experience. Let’s start by exploring different levels of dissociation, and then we’ll talk about where trauma comes into the picture with this.

Mild Dissociation: Short Times of Zoning Out

As we mentioned earlier, mild dissociation is something that most people experience regularly. This type of dissociation includes things like daydreaming or “zoning out.” For example, you might be in class or a meeting and suddenly realize you haven’t been paying attention for the last few minutes because your mind wandered. Another example is when athletes or performers get “in the zone,” focusing so intensely on their activity that they lose awareness of everything else around them. You may find that time might seem to speed up or slow down, like when you’re waiting for something and it feels like forever, or when you’re having fun and time flies by really fast. These moments of dissociation can help us cope with boredom or focus deeply on a task, and are not a cause for concern.

Moderate Dissociation: Detachment and Memory Lapses

Moderate dissociation can be more noticeable and disruptive. This level can include feeling detached from your surroundings or having brief memory lapses. For instance, you might find yourself in a conversation but feel like you’re not really there, almost as if you’re watching yourself from the outside. Or you might do something routine, like putting your keys in the fridge instead of on the counter, and have no memory of doing it. These experiences can be unsettling but are often short-lived.

More Significant Dissociation: Depersonalization and Amnesia

Stronger forms of dissociation are more intense and can significantly impact daily life. It includes experiences like depersonalization, where you feel disconnected from your own body or thoughts, and derealization, where the world around you seems unreal. People with severe dissociation might also experience amnesia, which means they have large gaps in their memory, especially related to traumatic events. For example, someone might not remember significant parts of their childhood if it was very stressful or traumatic.

Some examples of this type of dissociation can be feeling like you’re watching a movie about your life instead of actually living it. You might have times where you zone out and can’t remember what you did for the last several hours. Some people will say they find themselves holding a cup of coffee in their house, but they have no memory of making themselves coffee, and don’t know how long ago they did that.

The Link Between Trauma and Dissociation

When people go through something very scary or upsetting, like an accident or a big fight, their mind sometimes tries to protect them by making them feel like they aren’t really there or like it’s not really happening. This is called dissociation. It’s like a safety switch in the brain that helps them feel less scared or hurt at the moment by shutting off access to the full depth of what really happened.

Imagine you’re watching a really scary movie, and it’s too much to handle. You might close your eyes or look away to avoid seeing the scary parts. Dissociation is a bit like that, but it happens inside your mind. Your brain helps you "look away" from the scary or upsetting things by making you feel disconnected from the emotional impact of what happened. You might find that you can talk about something scary that happened to you, but in a intellectual “dry” way without any feelings. It may almost feel like you’re talking about something that happened to someone else.

Doing this can help people get through tough situations, but sometimes it can make them feel strange confused later on. You may not remember clearly the details of what happened, or find that some parts of what happened are fuzzy or hazy. What you do remember may not make sense because there are no emotions attached to what you remember.

Continuing Aftereffects of trauma

Dissociation can continue to affect someone long after a traumatic event has happened. Even after the traumatic event is over, your brain might make you feel like you’re weren’t really there, or like it didn’t really happen, to help you cope. In addition, certain sounds, smells, or sights can remind you of what happened, which can make your brain continue to dissociate so you can take a break from the intense feelings and memories. This means you might keep feeling disconnected, like you’re watching things from a distance or having trouble remembering parts of your past.

Many people who have experienced trauma dissociate without even realizing it. They might daydream a lot, lose track of time, or feel like they are living in a fog. These are signs of dissociation, which is the brain’s way of handling too much stress or danger.

Dissociation Makes Us More Anxious

In an ironic twist, dissociation helps us survive but also makes us feel more anxious and on edge in the long run. The most important thing for someone who has experienced trauma is to feel safe. However, when we are dissociating, we don’t have a good sense of the world around us, which subconsciously creates a sense of fear and constantly looking for danger.

Take for example someone who was robbed at gunpoint, and now dissociates. What they need the most in order to feel safe is to be aware of their surroundings so they can see if anyone who could be dangerous is around them, but if they are often dissociating, they may be zoning out often and not aware of their surroundings. Our body senses the lack of awareness that we have, and often compensates by increasing our anxiety in the hopes that the anxiety will get us out of our dissociation so we can become more aware of our environment.

What To Do If You Dissociate Often

Dissociation is one of the most complex mental health challenges that exist, and it’s important to know a number of things. First, it’s very difficult to heal dissociation by yourself. A big part of helping someone with dissociation is having someone who can support and help the person work through the trauma. Working on dissociation by yourself is similar to performing surgery on yourself.

Second, it’s very important to seek professional support from a qualified therapist. As mentioned above, dissociation is a complex mental health condition, and most therapist are not trained to treat dissociation. Even those therapists that are trained in trauma often are unable to help people with significant dissociation.

How to Find The Right Therapist

When finding a therapist to help you with dissociation it’s important to ask questions to make sure the therapist you will be working with is able to properly treat you. Some questions you may ask:

- How comfortable do you feel in treating dissociation?

- How often do you see clients who have dissociation?

- Have you done any specific training in treating dissociation?

 Conclusion

If you resonate with some of the symptoms used above to describe dissociation, you might benefit from speaking with a therapist. Remember, dissociation is not a sign of weakness. It is a natural response to trauma, showing the brain’s attempt to protect itself. However, living with dissociation can interfere with daily life, making it hard to concentrate or connect with others.

If you are interested in therapy to help with dissociation, the therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are one of a handful in the Greater Cincinnati area that are trained in and qualified to treat dissociation. Reach out today to get started.

How Growing Up in Poverty Can Impact You as an Adult

Growing up in a family that didn't have much money can leave a lasting mark on your life. When your family struggled financially, it could have affected you in ways that still linger today. It's important to understand these impacts and how they might be influencing you now. Childhood trauma related to poverty can shape your feelings, behaviors, and thoughts as an adult, and recognizing these patterns is the first step towards healing.

It's important to note that this topic is broad and deep, and we are only going to touch on some of bigger themes on this topic. For example, the terms scarcity mindset and abundance mindset (mentioned in this blog) are big terms that have been written about extensively, but are only touched on briefly here. Let’s dive in to this topic and how therapy can help.  

Feeling Different from Others

When you were a child, not having the latest toys or clothes might have made you feel different from your peers. This feeling of being different can persist, making you feel different from other today even as an adult. It's common to worry about how others see you. Remember, everyone has unique experiences, and yours have made you strong and resourceful. Learning to embrace your uniqueness can be empowering.

 Anxiety About Money

Always worrying about bills and expenses as a child can lead to anxiety about money as an adult. You might stress over finances, even when there's no immediate need. This anxiety can affect your mental well-being, making it hard to relax and enjoy life. Therapy can help you address these worries and offer strategies to manage your anxiety, and understanding the roots of your financial anxiety can bring significant relief. 

Struggle with Self-Worth

Growing up without much money can sometimes make you feel less valuable than others. You might have learned to tie your worth to your financial status, which can lead to low self-esteem and self-doubt. It's important to challenge these beliefs and recognize your inherent worth, which is not determined by your bank account. Therapy can assist in reshaping these negative self-perceptions.

 Difficulty in Relationships

Financial struggles in childhood can affect how you relate to others. You might find it hard to trust people or feel the need to please everyone to gain acceptance. These patterns can strain your relationships, making it hard to form healthy connections. Understanding these tendencies can help you build stronger, more supportive relationships. Therapy can provide tools to develop healthier interpersonal skills.

 Fear of Failure

Living in a financially unstable environment can create a deep fear of failure. You might worry excessively about making mistakes or not succeeding. This fear can hold you back from taking risks and pursuing your dreams. Building a mindset that sees failure as a learning experience can be transformative, and working with a therapist who specializes in trauma can help you change the way think.

Scarcity Mindset

A childhood of financial struggle can lead to a scarcity mindset, where you constantly fear running out of resources. This mindset can make you overly cautious and reluctant to spend money, even when it's necessary. Learning to shift to an abundance mindset can help you feel more secure and make better financial decisions. Therapy can guide you in changing these deep-seated beliefs.

Overworking

If you grew up watching your parents work multiple jobs to make ends meet, you might have developed a habit of overworking. You might feel like you must always be productive to ensure financial stability, and it might feel like there is no end to work. While hard work is valuable, it's also important to balance it with rest and self-care. Burnout can have serious effects on your health and well-being. The good news is that therapy can help you find a healthier work-life balance.

 Impact on Education

Financial difficulties in childhood can also affect your education. You might have had to work part-time jobs or miss out on extracurricular activities to help support your family. This can lead to feelings of inadequacy or missed opportunities. However, your experiences have also likely made you resourceful and determined, qualities that are incredibly valuable. Recognizing and valuing these strengths is essential.

Seeking Professional Support

Acknowledging how your past has affected you is a crucial step in healing. Seeking professional support, such as therapy, can be incredibly beneficial. A therapist can help you unpack these experiences and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Therapy provides a safe space to explore your feelings and work towards a more positive future. Investing in your mental health can bring long-term benefits.

 Building Resilience

Despite the challenges, growing up in a financially struggling family can also build incredible resilience. You've learned to navigate difficult situations and find solutions. Recognizing and celebrating your strengths is important. Therapy can help you harness this resilience, turning past struggles into sources of strength. Your resilience is a powerful asset in overcoming future challenges. 

Creating a Positive Future

While the past has shaped you, it doesn't have to define your future. However, it's important to remember that you have the power to change your narrative. Seeking therapy and professional support can provide you with the tools to heal and thrive. Your experiences have made you strong, and with the right support, you can turn those challenges into triumphs. Embrace your journey towards a better future by reaching out to a therapist at Therapy Cincinnati.

What to Do When People Have No Empathy for Your Trauma

Trauma, whether visible or concealed, often becomes part of the fabric of our lives, and the weight of unseen trauma can be especially challenging to express. It's akin to carrying an invisible load, where the pain is real, yet its recognition by others becomes elusive. In these moments, it's crucial to recognize the validity of your experiences, even if the empathy you seek is not readily available. The unseen impact of trauma, much like an invisible weight, deserves acknowledgment and understanding.

As therapists in the Cincinnati area who specialize in treating trauma, let’s discuss how you can react when people around you are invalidating when it comes to your trauma.

Validating Your Own Experience

When faced with a lack of external empathy, validating your own experience becomes paramount. The first step in healing is acknowledging the impact of your trauma. In the absence of external validation, turning inward and recognizing the strength it takes to confront your pain becomes a cornerstone of your healing journey. This self-validation serves as a steady foundation on which you can build resilience and embark on a path of recovery. Acknowledging your experience, even without external validation, is a powerful affirmation of your truth.

Communicating Boundaries for Self-Preservation

In a world that might not fully grasp the nuances of your trauma, establishing and communicating boundaries is a powerful act of self-preservation. It's okay to express your needs, whether it involves setting limits on certain topics of conversation or asking for space when necessary. Boundaries serve as protective barriers, ensuring that your healing process is respected and your well-being is prioritized. Communicating boundaries becomes an empowering practice, allowing you to navigate the external world with a sense of agency.

Educating Others about Trauma

Empathy often blossoms from understanding. If those around you struggle to comprehend the depth of your trauma, consider gently educating them. Share resources, articulate your needs, and help them grasp the complexities of trauma and the crucial role empathy plays in the healing process. Education becomes a bridge, fostering a greater understanding of the challenges you face. By offering insights into the nature of trauma, you contribute to a more informed and compassionate community.

At the same time, it’s important to keep in mind that there are some people who aren’t’ interested in hearing about what you have experienced. Others are too wrapped up in their own world and/or pain and don’t have the capacity to think about someone else’s pain. When we are dealing with these types of people, we may need to set up good boundaries and accept that we may not be able to reach everyone.

Seeking Sanctuary in Therapy

In the face of a world that may lack empathy, therapy becomes a vital sanctuary of understanding. Trauma therapists are trained to navigate the intricacies of trauma, offering a non-judgmental space where your experiences are heard and validated. Therapy provides the support needed to explore the depths of your trauma, develop coping mechanisms, and embark on a journey toward healing. The therapeutic process becomes a collaborative effort in which your experiences are acknowledged and addressed with empathy and expertise. While the above is true of all therapists, therapists who specialize in treating trauma excel at creating a safe space for you to feel understand and heard.

Fostering Self-Compassion Amidst Silence

In the absence of external empathy, fostering self-compassion becomes a powerful tool for resilience. Recognize the strength it takes to confront your trauma and treat yourself with the kindness you deserve. Self-compassion is not only a response to the lack of external understanding but also a proactive approach to nurturing your emotional well-being. It involves acknowledging your journey with a sense of gentleness and understanding, fostering a supportive inner dialogue.

Building Connections with Understanding Communities

Seeking out communities that understand and empathize with your experiences can be transformative. Whether online or in-person, connecting with others who have walked similar paths creates a sense of belonging and solidarity. These communities serve as a source of understanding and support, offering a space where empathy flows freely. The shared experiences within these communities contribute to a sense of validation and connection, fostering collective healing.

Grasping the Limitations of Others

While the absence of empathy can be painful, it's important to grasp the limitations of others. Empathy requires a certain level of emotional understanding that not everyone possesses. Rather than internalizing the lack of empathy, recognize it as a reflection of their capacities, shifting the focus from judgment to understanding. Grasping the limitations of others involves cultivating a perspective that allows for empathy to grow organically, without harboring resentment or frustration.

Integrating Mindfulness into Your Healing

Mindfulness practices can be invaluable in navigating the complexities of trauma and the silence that sometimes accompanies it. Techniques such as meditation and deep breathing provide a sanctuary within, fostering a connection with your emotions and promoting inner peace amidst external challenges. Mindfulness becomes a tool for self-awareness and managing the intricate layers of unseen trauma. It involves being present with your experiences without judgment, allowing for a deeper understanding and acceptance.

Advocating for Your Needs

In a world where empathy for trauma may be scarce, advocating for your needs becomes an empowering act. Clearly articulating what you require from those around you, whether it's understanding, support, or a listening ear, is a proactive step in building a network of compassion. Advocacy becomes a way of asserting your agency in navigating the challenges of trauma. It involves expressing your needs with clarity and assertiveness, creating an environment that supports your healing journey.

Conclusion: A Testament to Your Strength

In conclusion, navigating a world without empathy for your trauma is a testament to your strength. Recognizing your own resilience, seeking therapeutic support, and connecting with understanding communities are essential steps on your journey. As individuals navigate this complex terrain, Therapy Cincinnati stands ready to provide empathetic support, offering therapeutic resources to assist in the healing process. Remember, your experience is uniquely yours, and the path to healing is a courageous and transformative journey.

How to Deal With Setbacks in Trauma Healing

As a therapy practice in Cincinnati that specializes in helping people with trauma, our clients sometimes report having setbacks. It’s important to know that healing from trauma is a courageous journey filled with ups and downs. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, setbacks can occur. It's crucial to understand that setbacks are a normal part of the healing process, and what matters most is how we respond to them. In this article, we'll explore compassionate and practical steps to take after experiencing a setback in trauma healing.

Understanding Setbacks:

First and foremost, it's important to recognize that setbacks are not a sign of failure. Healing from trauma is a complex process, and sometimes it’s not consistent and straight progress. Just like a road with twists and turns, setbacks can be expected. They don't erase the progress you've made; instead, they provide valuable insights into areas that may need additional attention. They also don’t mean you have gone backwards; while you may be feeling similar to how you have felt in the past you are a new person with new capabilities to handle these feelings. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge that setbacks are moments to learn and grow, not reasons to give up on your healing journey.

Give Yourself Permission to Feel:

When faced with a setback, it's normal to experience a range of emotions – frustration, disappointment, or even sadness. Allow yourself the space to feel these emotions without judgment. You're not alone, and it's okay to acknowledge that healing isn't always a straight path. Giving yourself permission to feel is a crucial step in understanding your emotions and paving the way for self-compassion.

Reassess and Reflect:

Setbacks provide an opportunity to reassess and reflect on your healing journey. Take a moment to consider what triggered the setback and whether there are patterns or challenges that need further exploration. Reflecting on your experiences with curiosity and openness can offer valuable insights into areas where you may need additional support or coping strategies. This self-awareness becomes a powerful tool for navigating future challenges on your healing path.

Reach Out for Support:

Trauma healing is not a solo journey, and setbacks are no exception. This is a time to lean on your support network – whether it's friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your experiences with those you trust can provide comfort and validation. You don't have to face the challenges alone, and seeking support is a strength, not a weakness. Others can offer fresh perspectives, guidance, and a compassionate presence as you navigate through the aftermath of a setback.

Reestablish Boundaries:

Setbacks may indicate that certain boundaries were inadvertently crossed or neglected. It's an opportunity to reassess and reestablish boundaries that are crucial for your well-being. Whether it's setting limits on certain activities, redefining your comfort zones, or communicating your needs to others, reinforcing boundaries is an empowering step in trauma healing. Healthy boundaries create a protective space where healing can occur without feeling overwhelmed.

Explore New Coping Strategies:

During a setback, it might become evident that your current coping strategies need adjustment or expansion. Explore new ways to cope with stress, triggers, or overwhelming emotions. This could involve incorporating mindfulness practices, creative outlets, or physical activities into your routine. Trying out different coping strategies allows you to discover what works best for you in different situations, enhancing your toolbox for managing setbacks and promoting overall well-being.

Celebrate Small Victories:

In the midst of setbacks, it's essential to celebrate the small victories along the way. Acknowledge the progress you've made, no matter how incremental it may seem. Each step forward, no matter how small, is a testament to your resilience and strength. Celebrating these victories fosters a positive mindset and reinforces the belief that healing is an ongoing process, marked by both challenges and triumphs.

Practice Self-Compassion:

Above all, practice self-compassion during setbacks. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer to a friend facing a similar situation. Negative self-talk or self-blame is counterproductive to healing. Instead, cultivate a compassionate inner dialogue, recognizing that setbacks are part of the journey, and you are deserving of patience, love, and understanding.

Consider Professional Guidance:

If setbacks persist or feel overwhelming, seeking professional guidance is a wise and proactive step. A therapist specializing in trauma can provide tailored support and guidance. They can help you explore the roots of the setback, develop coping strategies, and work collaboratively to strengthen your resilience. Professional support is an invaluable resource on your healing journey.

Recommit to Self-Care:

Setbacks often highlight the importance of ongoing self-care. Reevaluate your self-care routine and identify areas that may need attention. Prioritize activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it's practicing relaxation techniques, engaging in hobbies, or ensuring adequate rest, recommitting to self-care reinforces your commitment to your well-being and contributes to a more resilient foundation for healing.

In conclusion, setbacks in trauma healing are not roadblocks but rather detours on a complex journey. By understanding, reflecting, reaching out for support, reassessing boundaries, exploring new coping strategies, celebrating victories, practicing self-compassion, considering professional guidance, and recommitting to self-care, you can navigate through setbacks with resilience and grace. Remember, healing is a courageous and ongoing process, and every step forward is a testament to your strength and determination.

Coping With Sexual Assault Triggers From The News

Today, let's dive into a sensitive and important topic: coping with triggers related to sexual assault scandals in the news. As therapists in Cincinnati that specialize in helping women who have experienced sexual trauma, we understand the emotional impact these stories can have on individuals who have experienced sexual assault or trauma. In this article, we'll explore practical strategies to help you navigate these triggers and prioritize your emotional well-being.

Understanding Triggers and their Impact

Sexual assault scandals in the news can be deeply triggering for survivors of sexual assault or trauma. Triggers are experiences or reminders that bring back memories, emotions, or physical sensations associated with the traumatic event. When confronted with news stories about sexual assault, survivors may experience a range of emotions such as fear, anger, anxiety, or sadness. These triggers can disrupt daily life, cause distress, and reawaken past trauma.

Coping Strategies for Triggers

While everyone's experience is unique, here are some strategies that can help you cope with triggers related to sexual assault scandals in the news:

Validate Your Feelings: It's essential to acknowledge and validate your emotions. Remind yourself that it is natural to feel triggered, and your feelings are valid. Give yourself permission to experience a range of emotions without judgment.

Establish Boundaries with News Consumption: Stay informed, but be mindful of how much news you consume. Limit exposure to media coverage that may be triggering. Consider setting specific times to check the news and avoid exposing yourself to distressing stories during vulnerable moments, such as before bed.

Practice Self-Care: Prioritize self-care activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and comfort. This could include exercise, spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness or meditation, journaling, or connecting with supportive friends or loved ones. 

Develop Grounding Techniques: Grounding techniques can help anchor you in the present moment and reduce the intensity of triggers. Engage your senses by focusing on things you can see, hear, touch, taste, or smell in your immediate surroundings. Deep breathing exercises or progressive muscle relaxation can also help you stay centered.

Reach Out for Support: Connect with a trusted friend, family member, or therapist who can provide a supportive and non-judgmental space for you to express your feelings. Share your concerns and triggers with someone who understands and can offer empathy and validation. 

Engage in Self-Reflection: Reflect on your personal boundaries, needs, and triggers. Understand what topics or situations are particularly triggering for you. This self-awareness can help you anticipate triggers and develop coping strategies that work best for you.

Seek Professional Help: If triggers and distressing emotions persist or interfere with your daily life, seeking professional help can be beneficial. A therapist experienced in trauma can provide guidance and evidence-based therapies, such as Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), to support your healing journey.

Engage in Advocacy or Support Groups: Consider joining a support group or becoming involved in advocacy work related to sexual assault. Connecting with others who have had similar experiences can be empowering and provide a sense of community and validation.

Remember, coping with triggers takes time and self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself and acknowledge the progress you're making. Healing is a journey, and by implementing these strategies, you can navigate triggers and prioritize your well-being.

Coping with triggers related to sexual assault scandals in the news can be challenging, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. By validating your feelings, establishing boundaries with news consumption, practicing self-care, reaching out for support, and engaging in self-reflection, you can navigate triggers and protect your emotional well-being. Remember, healing is a unique process, and seeking professional help when needed is a sign of strength. You have the power to reclaim your life and find healing and peace beyond the triggers.

How Trauma Affects Us Physically

As therapists in Cincinnati that specialize in working with trauma, one of the things that we wish people knew more about is how much trauma can impact us physically. When we think of trauma, we often focus on the emotional and psychological effects it can have. However, trauma can also affect us physically, and it's essential to understand how this happens.

The effects of trauma on the body can vary depending on the type and severity of the trauma. Trauma can range from a one-time incident, such as a car accident, to ongoing trauma, such as childhood abuse or neglect. Regardless of the type of trauma, it can have long-lasting effects on our physical health.

One of the most common ways that trauma affects us physically is through the activation of the fight-or-flight response. This is the body's natural response to danger or threat. When we experience trauma, our brains perceive a threat, and the fight-or-flight response is activated. This response triggers a cascade of physical changes in the body, including the release of adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones prepare the body for action, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration.

While this response can be helpful in the short-term, it can be harmful in the long-term. If our body doesn’t process what happened correctly, the chronic stress response can become "stuck" in the "on" position. This can lead to long-term changes in the way the body functions, including inflammation, changes in hormone levels, and changes in brain chemistry. These changes can increase the risk of developing chronic health conditions, including:

Chronic pain: Chronic stress can cause muscle tension, which can lead to headaches, back pain, and other types of chronic pain.

Digestive issues: Chronic stress can affect digestion, leading to gastrointestinal issues such as irritable bowel syndrome (IBS) and ulcers.

Cardiovascular disease: Chronic stress can increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, including hypertension, heart attack, and stroke.

Immune system dysfunction: Chronic stress can impair the immune system, making us more susceptible to illness and infection.

Sleep disturbances: Chronic stress can disrupt sleep, leading to insomnia and other sleep disorders.

In addition to the fight-or-flight response, trauma can also affect the brain and nervous system. Trauma can alter the structure and function of the brain, including the amygdala, hippocampus, and prefrontal cortex. These changes can lead to a variety of physical symptoms, including:

Fatigue: Trauma can cause fatigue, as the brain and body are working hard to process the trauma and remain on high alert. This type of effort from our brain and body may go unnoticed by the person, as our brain and body are working hard without the person realizing it.

Memory problems: Trauma can affect memory, making it difficult to recall details or retain new information. Our brain may block out parts of our life so avoid specific memories, which can lead to our memory from certain times in our life being “hazy” or “spotty”.

Chronic headaches: Trauma can cause chronic headaches, as the brain and body are under constant stress. 

Dizziness and fainting: In more severe cases, trauma can cause dizziness and fainting due to changes in blood pressure and circulation.

Chronic illness: Trauma can increase the risk of chronic illness, including autoimmune disorders, chronic fatigue syndrome, and fibromyalgia. This too can be tied to the constant stress that our body is under.

It's important to note that not everyone who experiences trauma will experience physical symptoms. However, if you are experiencing physical symptoms that are impacting your daily life, it's important to seek help from a mental health professional.

Trauma-focused therapy, such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), can help people process and heal from trauma, which can in turn reduce the physical symptoms associated with trauma. Other treatments, such as mindfulness meditation and yoga, can also be helpful in reducing stress and promoting overall physical and mental health.

In summary, trauma can have a significant impact on our physical health. Trauma can activate the fight-or-flight response, leading to chronic stress and a variety of physical symptoms. Trauma can also affect the brain and nervous system, leading to fatigue, memory problems, chronic headaches, dizziness, and other physical symptoms.

If you have experienced trauma and are struggling with the impacts it is having on your life, we at Therapy Cincinnati are here to help. We offer multiple types of therapy that is designed to help people heal from trauma, including EMDR, Internal Family Systems, creative arts, and many other types of therapy. You can get started by clicking on the “contact us”  button to schedule a free phone consultation.

What Are The Signs of Attachment Trauma?

As therapists in Cincinnati, we often work with clients who have experienced trauma in their lives, including attachment trauma. Let’s discuss what attachment trauma is, how to deal with it, and how to get help.

Attachment trauma is when someone important in your life, like a parent or caregiver, is not there for you in the way that you need them to be. This can happen in many ways. For example, if a parent is always busy, not around, or often doesn’t pay attention to their child, a child might feel like they don't matter to their parent, or that they are not “good enough” for their parent to love them. If a parent is often angry or violent, a child might feel like they have to always be careful to not make their parent mad. These experiences can cause attachment trauma by making it hard for this child to connect to people and form healthy connections when they get older.

Attachment trauma can have long-lasting effects on a person's mental health and relationships by making it hard to have healthy relationships and to feel good about yourself. Let’s discuss some signs of unhealed attachment trauma and what you can do if you recognize these signs in yourself or someone you know:  

Difficulty with Trust and Intimacy

One of the most common signs of unhealed attachment trauma is struggling with trusting people and getting close to them. This is because when someone important to you is not there for you, it can feel like no one will ever be there for you. This can make it hard to feel safe and to feel like you can rely on others. You may experience this as a fear of getting close to others, reluctance to share personal information, or feeling uncomfortable with physical touch. In addition, it may be hard to enjoy sex and it may feel like something you just have to get through.

If you find yourself struggling to create close relationships or have a history of sabotaging relationships, it may be a sign that you have unhealed attachment trauma. Working with a therapist can help you explore these patterns and develop strategies for building trust and intimacy in your relationships.

A Pattern of Toxic Relationships

Because there is a deep need for connection when someone has experienced attachment trauma,  it’s common for people to be in relationships that are toxic and unhealthy. Quite simply, the need for love and acceptance is often so strong that it’s hard to others to fully fill the void that the person with attachment trauma has. In addition, people with attachment trauma are often attracted to people who are not healthy and cannot give them the love and acceptance they so desperately crave. This makes their need for love even stronger and creates a cycle of hope and excitement, only to be followed and hurt and deep hurt. Why exactly this happens is beyond the scope of this blog post, but it’s a very common pattern.

If you have been in multiple relationships or friendships that have been unhealthy, it may be a good idea to reach out to a therapist and see why this is happening.

Fear of Abandonment

Another sign of attachment trauma is feeling scared that someone will leave you. You may feel anxious or panicked when a partner or friend is out of reach or worry that others will leave you if you don't do everything right. This fear can be so strong that it makes it hard to let yourself get close to anyone, and you might worry that if you get close to someone, they will eventually leave you. Because of this fear, some people tell themselves that they would rather just be by themselves instead of connecting to others.

If you struggle with this fear, it can be helpful to explore the underlying reasons for it. Often, this fear is rooted in past experiences of abandonment or loss. Working with a therapist can help you process these experiences and develop coping skills to manage your fears.

Difficulty with Emotion Regulation

Attachment trauma can also make it hard to control your feelings. When you have had experiences where you didn't feel safe or didn't have someone to talk to, it can be hard to know how to manage your emotions. You might feel like your emotions are out of control and that you can't calm down when you get upset.

If you find yourself struggling with these issues, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you develop skills for managing your emotions. This might include strategies for self-soothing, mindfulness practices, or learning how to express your emotions in a healthy and constructive way.

Negative Self-Image

Another sign of attachment trauma is thinking badly about yourself. When someone important in your life is not there for you, it can feel like there is something wrong with you or that you are unlovable. You might feel like you're not good enough or that you don't deserve good things. You may have a strong inner critic that constantly berates you and makes you feel bad about yourself. These feelings can be very strong and can make it hard to feel good about yourself.

If you struggle with negative self-image, it can be helpful to challenge these beliefs which are often rooted in past experiences. Working with a therapist can help you challenge these beliefs and develop a more positive self-image.

Difficulty with Boundaries

Finally, attachment trauma can make it hard to set boundaries with others. When you have had experiences where you didn't feel safe or didn't have someone to talk to, it can be hard to know how to say "no" to people or tell them when they've gone too far. This can lead to unhealthy relationships where you are taken advantage of, or don’t feel respected. This in turn can make it hard to have healthy relationships.

If you struggle with these issues, it can be helpful to work with a therapist who can help you develop healthy boundaries. This might include strategies for setting limits, learning to say no, or exploring the underlying reasons for your difficulty with boundaries.

Can I Be Helped?

If you struggle with attachment trauma and live in the Cincinnati area, or Ohio in general, it can be lifechanging to work with a properly trained mental health professional. One of the most unfortunate parts about people with attachment trauma is that they have what we call “core negative beliefs” that influence how they feel about themselves and others. However, these beliefs are simply false. It’s a shame to live our lives based on these lies that we have learned to believe, and a trained therapist can help you take a better look at the thoughts that drive how you feel.

How Do I Find Help In Cincinnati?

While seeing a therapist for attachment trauma can quite simply help transform your life, it’s important to know how to find the help you need in the Cincinnati area. Being able to help people with attachment trauma requires specialized training, and so it’s important to ask any therapist that you are considering working with if they have training and experience in treating attachment trauma.

A good place to start is by looking for therapists in Cincinnati who are trained in treating trauma, including those that are trained in EMDR. While attachment trauma is a form of trauma and therefore not every trauma therapist has training in it, many trauma therapists do have training in treating attachment trauma. It’s important to mention as well that while we in Cincinnati have a lot of very talented therapists in the area, including trauma therapists, there are only a handful of therapists in Cincinnati who are trained in and have experience working with attachment trauma.

We at Therapy Cincinnati have lots of experience in treating attachment trauma, and we have several therapists who can help you heal and move forward. With the right support and tools, it is possible to move forward and build healthy, fulfilling relationships. Reach out today to get started with one of our therapists!

The Aftermath of Damar Hamlin

A few weeks ago, millions across the United States witnessed something traumatic - Damar Hamlin collapsing on the field during a Monday Night football game. For those of us living in the Cincinnati the potential trauma was even bigger, with some people witnessing the event live while at the game. Even for those not at the game, just knowing this happened at Paycor Stadium made the trauma that much more personal. This event highlighted the term “trauma” and made it more real to many people.

For many people, this may have been the first time they witnessed trauma. Everything at the game was going fine, and all of a sudden a player was critically ill and needing to be brought back to life. It brought out how fragile life is, and how things can change so fast.

For some people who have experienced trauma in other ways, witnessing what happened on Monday Night football was triggering to watch. However you have been feeling, we’ve outlined some key things you should know to help you process the aftereffects of witnessing trauma.

How to Deal with Witnessing Trauma

If you have witnessed trauma, coping with this can seem like an impossible task. However in many cases, there are several simple ways that can help you overcome this struggle. These include the following ideas:

-        Acknowledge the event. One common issue many people have with dealing with witnessed trauma is that they try to block it out and ignore it. However, doing so can simply allow the pain to fester at the back of your mind. Instead, acknowledge that the event happened; this can allow you to come to terms with it a little more easily.

-        Spend time with loved ones. After you have witnessed trauma, it can feel tempting to shut yourself away from the world for fear of getting hurt again. However, this can often do more harm than good. In fact, spending time with your friends, family members, and loved ones may help give you someone to talk to – and, critically, allow you to focus on something other than the traumatic event itself.

-        Stay away from unhealthy coping mechanisms. Many people turn to alcohol, drugs, gambling, and other such habits when trying to cope with witnessing trauma. However, while these may serve as a temporary distraction, they will usually do much more harm than good. With this in mind, try to avoid falling into these destructive behaviours and habits, where possible, to ensure that you don’t end up getting overburdened by the trauma you’ve experienced.

-        Talk to a therapist. Many people overlook the importance of speaking to a therapist after experiencing trauma. Even if you have only witnessed trauma second-hand, this can cause uncertainty , anxiety, and confusion. Getting professional support (if you need it) could definitely help take some of the pain away.

-        Look after yourself! As a final point, it’s well worth keeping in mind that looking after yourself is hugely important. Take time out to rest and recuperate. It can go a long way towards helping you cope with the pain and distress of witnessing trauma.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with witnessing trauma is never easy, but you can take several simple steps to make this easier to recover from. Hopefully, today’s guide will have given you a few ideas of possible steps you could take to deal with witnessing trauma in your own life, too.

With all that said, if you find yourself thinking about what happened and feel it’s affecting your day-to-day life, it may be time to reach out to a therapist. This is especially true the more time passes after that night. We at Therapy Cincinnati specialize in helping people who have experienced or witnessed trauma, so don’t push off reaching out for help.

Outrunning Fear: How To Cope With The News About Eliza Fletcher

Author Margaret Atwood once said: “Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.” Atwood’s chilling words sum up what nearly all women are feeling in response to the recent tragedy of Eliza Fletcher. But Eliza Fletcher’s story is not the first of its kind, a reality of which many women are painfully aware. The fact is many women are unable to embrace the benefits of an early morning run because they are afraid of stories like this one. Sadly, this fear is valid. Fear is an appropriate and completely understandable response to the recent news.

Many women are experiencing a very real trauma response in the aftermath of the news surrounding Eliza Fletcher. Not only has the tragedy aggravated the pre-existing fear that nearly all women have in general, but women who have experienced being stalked, attacked in public, or assaulted, may be especially triggered, and feel as if “it’s happening again.” Unfortunately, when emotionally triggering news occurs, women are once again faced with a traumatizing reality: the world is not always safe.

This sad reality often elicits a sense of paralyzing fear, and because fear can feel like an unsolvable problem, feelings of helplessness may also be experienced. Emotional dysregulation is a common trauma response, and it is our desire to partner with women to help them heal and emotionally recalibrate.

If you are currently coping with fear as a result of the news regarding Eliza Fletcher, then we encourage your efforts to process the fear. Here are three suggestions for coping with emotionally triggering news:

1.      Practice self-care. Traumatic responses are very similar to a PTSD response, and self-care can be helpful for mindfully returning to the present moment. Self-care looks different for everyone. For some, self-care may be a time of rest, reflection, processing, nurturing, releasing, or all the above. The point of self-care is to restore your inner sense of calm and promote emotional regulation, so any healthy activity that promotes a sense of well-being and safety is encouraged. Breathing exercises are an especially helpful way for working through a triggered moment of dysregulation, because it triggers your mind in a positive way to recalibrate to calm. For other mindful coping exercises please read: 5 Ways to cope with PTSD by yourself

2.      Keep calm and carry on. Some women, especially women who enjoy running, may choose to express self-love by facing their fears head on. If you decide to cope with your triggers by keeping calm and carrying on, then we support you. You have every right to go for a run whenever you feel ready.

Running safety tips:

·        Run with a partner or in a group whenever possible

·        Avoid earbuds or only use one

·        Bring your cellphone and download one of the geo-tracking safety apps for runners

·        Carry a flashlight or wear a headlamp

·        Know your route and avoid dark/isolated areas

·        Have a few different routes and switch them up

·        Run with a handheld self-defense device (many are designed for female runners)

·        Make sure a trusted friend or family member knows your running routine, schedule, and route

3.      Seek professional support.
You are not alone. If you are struggling to cope with your emotional triggers, then working collaboratively with one of our compassionate, trauma-informed, and certified EMDR Therapists at Therapy Cincinnati can be a healing step towards resolving traumatic trigger symptoms and emotions associated with trauma. If you would like to learn more about how trauma therapy works, please contact us today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.  

The process of healing and coping with traumatic emotional triggers is an act of bravery, and we want to applaud the more than 2,100 people who showed up to symbolically complete Eliza’s morning run in her honor. The strength and healing that is found when we come together and refuse to give in to fear is a true testament to the human spirit. Fear can run circles in the mind, but fear will never outrun the courage of a woman.  

Trauma and PTSD treatment in Cincinnati

Therapy Cincinnati is a mental health clinic specializing in EMDR, PTSD treatment, and trauma therapy for women located in the Cincinnati area (and via telehealth!), and we are ready to partner with you on your journey towards growth and healing. Learn more about us and how we work.

What Is Egg Shell Walking?

It is a normal response for the person to feel afraid during and after a traumatic situation. Fear triggers the brain to help defend against danger or to avoid it. This “fight-or-flight” response is a typical reaction meant to protect a person from harm. While most people understand the effects of trauma, there is often a much more subtle form of trauma, which we trauma therapists call “egg shell walking”. Let us explore what this means and how it impacts people.

During an abusive relationship, whether it’s a friendship, familial relationship, or a romantic relationship, patterns are established by the abuser and the person being abused.  These types of behaviors by an abuser can be gaslighting, verbal manipulation through degradation, shaming in public, humiliation, making threats, yelling at a person, all in an attempt to control the person being abused. 

If the person being abused cannot or does not get out or away from this type of dysfunction, the person being abused develops a pattern of behavior in order to cope with their situation.  In order to try to make life less stressful or to lessen the amount of abuse, the person being abused will often times try to change what they do to try to avoid attention from the abuser. Put another way, they may try to “fly under the radar” so that there is less of a chance of something negative happening to them.

Those of us in the trauma world have a name for this way of acting, and we call this “walking on eggshells”. Walking on eggshells essentially means tiptoeing around their partner, significant other, or family member in order to avoid emotional blow ups, mood swings, criticism, forms of disapproval, or put downs. If there is physical or sexual abuse in the relationship, this can also be a way of minimizing the chances of that happening as well.

The problem with doing this is that while the chances of being hurt by the abuser goes down and it helps people survive, when people do this, they begin to lose touch with themselves.  They may start to be unsure about what they like or what they want, and they learn to shut down who they are to keep the peace within the relationship. Along with this, people often start to shut off their emotions and become numb to things, both positive and negative things that may occur.  

Over time, they begin to question their own validity as a human being, and may even question reality. We have worked with grown adults who are unsure what they like to do, how they feel, and who are more focused on what other people want. Sadly, the damage this causes is deep and it takes time and effort to help people reconnect with themselves. Not only that, but this type of dysfunction and abuse sometimes doesn’t end with the can be passed down generation after generation.   

It’s very hard to get out of the cycle of this type of behavior. Many times, children who experienced these patterns of behavior find themselves around similar people as an adult, without realizing what’s happening. If you are in an abusive relationship, consider getting out, and also consider going to see a therapist to learn how to be healthy and think differently. Long term abuse and the impacts it has on us can be corrected, but it takes a willingness to step outside of your comfort zone and do something different. Even if the comfort zone is unhealthy.   

Sadly, some people don’t want to change the way they are, and see no reason to do so.  If that is the case they will often live the same way, and pass on their ways to their children, who in turn could continue to pass on to their children. This happens everyday, in every part of the world. 

 If you feel that you are in a situation that you are unhappy with, that makes you feel unworthy, not validated, or makes you question reality, you can get help and you can change.  Seek out a trauma therapist that focuses on these types of behavior and get help. Reach out and talk to someone, and if you feel our life is in danger, either from yourself or your partner call a crisis hotline, or the police. 

 The same advice is true if you had to suppress your feelings growing up, and are now struggling in relationships or struggle with fully connecting to yourself. You may also find it hard to know what you are feeling, and you may have trouble figuring out what interests you, even as your able to tune in to what other people like and want. Here too, seeing a trauma therapist who has experience helping people with these issues can be truly life changing.

Is People-Pleasing a Trauma Response?

From early childhood, we are taught right from wrong, what's appropriate behavior, and how to get along with other people. These teachings helped us form healthy relationships and adapt to social situations, but when trauma occurs, we can go out of our way to please others, surpassing a healthy boundary.

Where Does People-Pleasing Begin?

People-pleasing often stems from childhood trauma, such as abandonment, neglect, or disappointment. For example, if a parent was difficult to please, you may have tried to do things for them to gain their approval or to feel worthy of their love and attention.

In addition, children who have experienced neglect or abuse are often more than willing to get on their good side or avoid them altogether to prevent it from re-occurring. This is especially true when there is physical or emotional abuse, as children may want to avoid triggering the anger of a parent.

This dynamic can make it hard for children to speak up, or they may worry about making a parent upset or disappointed. These behaviors often continue with friendships, and then on into adulthood. As an adult, it’s not unusual for people to try to please their bosses, co workers, and even partners they may have.

What Are Some People-Pleasing Thoughts, Feelings, and Behaviors?

At the expense of not disappointing others, feeling rejected, or avoiding conflict, we often do things for others we don't want to and form these patterns to please others but neglect ourselves.

So, what are some people-pleasing patterns?

·       Saying yes to others all the time

·       Apologizing even when it's not their fault

·       Suppressing their true feelings and emotions    

·       Constantly worry about how others see them

·       Staying in toxic relationships

·       Highly sensitive to criticism

·       Avoiding disagreement or conflict

·       Feeling unworthy of love and respect

How to Stop People-Pleasing Behavior

One of the most vital steps to eliminating people-pleasing behavior is becoming conscious of yourself and making the appropriate changes.

So, how do you make these changes?

Understand that saying no isn't selfish. Saying no to others' requests might be difficult because we feel good helping others and don't want to disappoint them, but at what cost? Remember, we must first take care of ourselves to take care of anyone else. A reasonable person will understand that you can't always say yes. Plus, you're essentially telling yourself that you are worth the self-care.

Let go of self-blame or guilt. You are not responsible for how your parents or other adults treated you as a child. Not to mention that it's justifiable what you needed to do for your self-protection. Therefore, remind yourself that you can't control what happened then but can take control of your life now.

Be your genuine self. Likely, some people in your life don't even know the true you. Therefore, you owe it to yourself to show them. You want people to like you for who you are and not what you do for them. And, you deserve to attract the right people in your life.

Set boundaries. Part of being in a healthy relationship is setting boundaries. As individuals, it is essential that we stress what we do/don't like or what we will/won't accept. That is how you form a mutually respectful relationship with someone and build self-esteem.

Trauma Treatment

Sometimes the root of people pleasing behaviors can be trauma people have been through. It can be hard to undo a lifetime's worth of trauma on our own, and so counseling might be an excellent option to get to the root of your people-pleasing behavior. A therapist can help you make get past and heal from a childhood history you didn't own. They can also teach you ways to set boundaries, help you communicate more effectively with others, and build healthier relationships.

Why People Avoid Trauma and PTSD Therapy

“I know I need help, but I’m really scared.”

Trauma and PTSD therapy is a proven and effective treatment for many mental health matters. In the same way that you might visit a physical therapist for a sprained ligament, there is tremendous value in speaking to a trained trauma therapist when you experience trauma or PTSD. Unfortunately, however, it is not uncommon for people to avoid speaking with a therapist, which is due to a combination of many different reasons. Fear is arguably the number one reason why individuals may be hesitant to seek therapy, and this is very normal and understandable. Fear of the unknown, concern about an increase in nightmares and other trauma symptoms, worry that speaking about what happened will make us feel worse or make what happened feel more real, or anxiety about what may be discovered in therapy may keep traumatized individuals from obtaining the care they deserve.

If you believe you would benefit from trauma and PTSD therapy but are worried about actually seeing a therapist for trauma, we want to give you some peace of mind. It’s important to know that we trauma therapists have ways of working with trauma that will not retrigger or overwhelm you.

Our therapists at Therapy Cincinnati prioritize your emotional wellbeing above all else, and we are well-equipped with many techniques to ensure that we will avoid emotionally overwhelming you. It is our hope that any fear or doubt that may be keeping you from experiencing healing and growth can be replaced with confidence and hope.

Therapy is not like ripping off a Band-Aid. Our therapists never go straight into the most difficult aspect of a traumatic experience. Instead, we work slowly and carefully so that we understand all the nuances and details surrounding the trauma before we start addressing the epicenter of the trauma itself. One method that we utilize to accomplish this gradual approach is called Titration. Titration is a Somatic Psychotherapy technique that provides a structured way of progressively working up to the most difficult aspect of the trauma by categorizing details surrounding the trauma into zones.

One of the biggest benefits of using titration in trauma therapy is that it allows us to see how fast we want to move in trauma therapy, while making sure that we don’t get overwhelmed. In Somatic therapy, when we talk or think about things that are upsetting us too much we run the risk of our nervous system shutting down, or conversely feeling on edge and anxious. Shutting down may look like someone having a hard time concentrating on the trauma work, or it may be the person feels numb. Both these states – shutting down or feeling more on edge - are not good and we are trained to help people avoid ending up in one of these places.

This is one of the many reasons why talking with a specially trained trauma therapist is so beneficial. While there are many wonderful therapists doing amazing work, in order to get the right treatment for trauma it is very important to work with a therapist who has extensive training in treating trauma and PTSD and understands how trauma affects us. While all therapists can treat mental health issues, trauma requires more than just a basic level of knowledge. Just like you wouldn’t go to your PCP for complex brain surgery, treating trauma properly requires significant training, skill, and experience.

We at Therapy Cincinnati have spent years learning about all the nuances of trauma and PTSD and have undergoing extensive training that only a few therapists in the Cincinnati area possess. We are able to help you get past the trauma you have experienced while doing so in a safe and effective way. We know that therapy can seem intimidating at first, but our hope is that by giving you some insight into one of the many tools we use that you will feel more comfortable allowing us the opportunity to partner with you on your journey towards healing.

Working collaboratively with one of our compassionate, trauma-informed, and certified EMDR therapists at Therapy Cincinnati can be a healing step towards resolving traumatic symptoms and emotions associated with trauma. If you would like to learn more about how trauma therapy works, please contact us today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation. 

Trauma and PTSD treatment in Cincinnati

Therapy Cincinnati is a mental health clinic specializing in EMDR, PTSD treatment, and trauma therapy for women located in the Cincinnati area (and via telehealth!), and we are ready to partner with you on your journey towards growth and healing. Learn more about us and how we work.

Post-Traumatic Growth: 5 Ways To Thrive After Trauma

You know post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but have you heard of post-traumatic growth? 

Coined by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, post-traumatic growth is a term characterized by positive psychological changes in those affected by PTSD, often finding new meaning from their experiences and thriving in the aftermath of trauma. 

With 25 years of research backing it, post-traumatic growth is a phenomenon we see it playing out in front of us daily. From war and natural disasters to injuries and sexual assault, trauma is the catalyst for growth and transformation, helping you build strength and resilience in areas in your life you least expect.

  Let’s explore five ways post-traumatic growth can help you thrive:

1. A New Appreciation For Life

When experiencing fear and loss from trauma, we’re often confronted with the threat of losing the things we cherish most in life and thus start to take notice of the things we previously overlooked or took for granted.  

Post-traumatic growth shifts our mindset, creating a sense of gratitude toward the life we’ve been given. Whether it's the view of the sunrise or the taste of your morning coffee, mundane moments no longer seem so small and are experienced through new eyes and with greater appreciation.

2. Discovering Personal Strength

Working through trauma makes you better equipped to handle future problems, increases your resiliency in the face of adversity, and helps you discover new strengths.

It also instills confidence when facing new challenges as past experiences give you the insight needed to navigate difficult situations.

3. Exploring New Possibilities

Surviving trauma can cause one to re-evaluate their life completely. From developing new hobbies and rethinking priorities to changing jobs and moving across the country, the aftermath of trauma helps survivors see new possibilities in life. You may find that where you once felt stuck you now see purpose, possibilities, and value. Life itself may look and feel different than ever before. Introspection and new ideas born of your traumatic experience can make the present moment seem more precious.

 Not only that but mental and emotional doors that previously seemed closed to you can feel more and more accessible. You may feel excited to invest your mind, body, and talents for causes that reflect your perception of new potentialities and opportunities.

 In summary, post-traumatic growth allows one to see new pathways for themselves that they otherwise would have never dreamed of pursuing if it weren’t for their trauma.

4. Spiritual Growth

In the aftermath of trauma, we often turn to something larger than ourselves to make sense of what happened and why it happened the way it did. Whether spiritual, religious or something else entirely, a belief system helps us cope with traumatic experiences and create new worldviews. In other words, post-traumatic growth can help us create a deeper understanding of the world and discover our place in it.

5. Improved Relationships

Improved relationships are often cultivated from the need to give and receive support through difficult times. One of the biggest impacts trauma can have on us is how it affects our ability to connect with others and trust people. As you heal and work to process the unhealthy connections or lost relationships in your life, your perspective on people may have shifted.

 Those coming out of trauma are likely to recognize the importance of the relationships in their life, especially ones overlooked in the past. Perhaps you value community and social connection more. You may find newfound empathy, compassion, and altruism. You might simply feel an openness toward humanity that you couldn't tap into before your trauma or for some time afterward. Your post-traumatic breakthrough may simply be evidenced by your unwillingness to take the people in your life for granted. Moreover, reaching out for help, expressing emotions, and learning to rely on others strengthens connections and fosters post-traumatic growth.  

Looking For Trauma Treatment In Cincinnati?

Therapy Cincinnati is a mental health group practice specializing in trauma therapy for women located in the Cincinnati area, ready to partner with you on your journey towards growth and healing. Schedule a free 15-minute call with one of our therapists today to see if we’re a good fit for you.

Trauma: How to Begin Healing from Relationship Trauma

Suffering trauma during your relationship can leave you feeling wounded and alone – however, it doesn’t have to be this way. Indeed, while it can be a long and sometimes tiring process, healing from relationship trauma is entirely possible.

As such, today, we’ve outlined a few simple things you should know to begin healing from relationship trauma; in turn, we hope this may help you find suitable solutions for your own recovery needs.

How to Begin Healing From Relationship Trauma

If you’ve experienced emotional or relationship trauma of any sort, chances are, you aren’t feeling quite yourself anymore. Indeed, relationship trauma can often represent a painful blow to our self-esteem and self-confidence – but it doesn’t have to be this way. And hopefully, the following four points may help you to begin recovering from your emotional trauma, too.

#1 Acknowledge The Trauma

In so many cases, it’s easy to feel guilty or ashamed by the traumas we have faced during our past relationships. It can often feel more natural to simply hide from these.

However, the first step to recovering from relationship trauma – and, if you’re reading this today, you may be on the path to achieving this – is to accept and acknowledge the trauma you suffered.

Don’t hide away from it; coming to terms with the trauma, though painful, can help you begin moving on.

#2 Focus on the Present

One of the most common limitations that hold many people back from recovering from relationship trauma is a tendency to live in the past. Indeed, in so many cases, focusing on the trauma you experienced (though natural) can leave you missing out on all of the great opportunities you could be enjoying in your life.

So, while this can seem difficult, try to focus on the good things in your immediate present. The little things go a long way; take some time out to relax with a soothing bath, a hot cup of cocoa, or simply spending time with a friend or loved one. Always make sure you have things to look forwards to every day; these can help give you a focus to move forwards, rather than allowing your mind to slip and dwell on the trauma you suffered in the past.

#3 Have People By Your Side to Help

Recovering from relationship trauma can be painful at times. There may be times you would rather shake off the pain and forget about it existing. However, this will likely only leave you back at square one, struggling to come to terms with your own emotions.

It doesn’t have to be this way – and having a strong, stable support network is crucial to consider. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a healing professional, ensuring there’s someone by your side who can support you throughout the process is an integral part of healing from your traumas.

#4 Always Take it Slow and Steady

There’s an old saying: “slow and steady wins the race.” When it comes to healing from relationship trauma, this is something that’s irrefutably true, and it’s something we highly recommend you hold close throughout your recovery.

Indeed, emotional pain and trauma can cause far deeper wounds than you might even know yourself; this sort of pain can’t simply be overcome in a few days. Instead, gentle, careful, and patient perseverance is required to find the best solutions and rediscover your strength. But remember: you will get there, and there are people by your side who want to help you feel yourself again.

Final Thoughts

If you’re ready to take that final step towards recovering from emotional or relationship trauma, please ensure you’ve gotten compassionate and caring support from someone who can help you recover from the trauma you have faced.

Discovering you need support to begin healing from your relationship trauma is the hardest step. From here, recovering just takes time, care, compassion, and acceptance – and if you feel you need any further support in this regard, we can help you find the most effective strategies for your own recovery.

Please don’t feel like you ever have to face things alone; we’re here to help you find your past confidence once more!

The Feelings & Emotions of Trauma (Part 2):

Trauma is intensely physically and psychologically upsetting, and the emotional effects of trauma can be equally distressing. When the brain’s ability to protect itself and process information becomes hijacked through a traumatic experience, the mind can become emotionally dysregulated. As a result, many trauma survivors experience extreme difficulty understanding and processing the intensity of the emotions that their trauma elicited. The more frightening or unexpected a traumatic experience is, the more extreme and complex the resulting emotions surrounding the trauma will likely be. In this article, we will take a closer look at the emotional effects of trauma.

Anger – I feel repulsed. This isn’t fair. I should just move on from this, but I can’t! I’m too angry about it.

You have every right to be furious. Anger is a very common, normal, and valid emotion to have following a traumatic experience. Trauma triggers anger because trauma is violating in every sense, and it is completely justifiable to be outraged about vulnerability being exploited. While anger can initially be a healthy reaction to trauma, anger can become a traumatic emotion in and of itself. This is because anger often reminds the mind of the reason behind the anger, and in this way long-term anger can lead to re-living and re-experiencing the trauma mentally. If you are experiencing long term anger from trauma, know that re-traumatizing your mind will only make it harder to find healing. Through recovery, that anger can be processed and transformed into acceptance, advocacy, and ultimately, healing.  

Shame & Guilt – I should never have trusted them. I must have done something to deserve this. Was it my fault? Could I have done something different?

The dehumanizing and degrading nature of trauma can distort someone’s self-identity and self-worth and leave victims of trauma. The idea that the trauma is the fault of the victim is one of the myths of trauma. The reality is that what happened to you was not your fault at all. There is absolutely nothing you could possibly have done that would warrant or justify what happened. No one ever deserves to be traumatized, over-powered, or have their no or resistance not respected entirely. Learn more about the truth behind this myth by seeing my earlier blog post Trauma vs. Truth – Myths About Trauma (Part 1) 

Fear – I can’t trust anyone ever again. I’m scared of being alone, but I am also scared to be with someone. What do I do?

There is a very strong link between trauma, anxiety, and PTSD, and that link is fear. When trauma overpowers your natural ability to protect yourself, it is normal to feel powerless and afraid. Fear is a natural reaction when coping with the aftershock of a traumatic experience. You were not safe, but you can become safe again. Healing from trauma requires courage, so please do not lose heart. The fear will subside, and there are trustworthy people who are safe to partner with on your journey towards healing and recovery. You might be tempted to withdraw into isolation, but this will make things worse. If you are struggling with intense paralyzing fear, please do not suffer alone. Please contact us and we will help you re-establish and re-build your sense of security and safety.

Confusion – I can’t remember what happened, but I think something happened. I don’t remember much. I just have brief vague memories.

Confusion is another extremely common emotion to have after experiencing trauma. When a traumatic experience is specifically extreme, the mind can “shut down” as form of survival, and the mind can physically block memories it is unable to process as a form of psychological protection. If you suspect that “something” happened to you, then that is enough to work with. You do not need to remember or recall the details of what happened in order to experience healing. Whether your mind remembers what happened or not, the body has other memory functions. Your body remembers what happened even if your brain does not, and in this way, trauma memories can manifest itself in your life even if you don’t have many or any memories about what happened. Where you remember what happened or not, your body deserves the opportunity to heal.  

How to emotionally heal from trauma

Trauma can leave invisible scars on the body, mind, and soul. These scars can manifest emotionally distressing feelings that can perpetuate the sense of powerlessness you might be experiencing. The road to trauma recovery takes time, and there is no one path that is right for everyone. Traumatic emotions are very complex and unique to each individual, but through specialized trauma recovery treatments that are therapists are trained in you have the power to transform each of these painful emotions into a more useful, helpful, and hopeful one, even if you cannot remember what happened. Healing and reclaiming power over your body, mind, and emotions, is possible. Please contact us for a consultation and take the next step towards healing today.