Post-Traumatic Growth: 5 Ways To Thrive After Trauma

You know post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but have you heard of post-traumatic growth? 

Coined by psychologists Richard Tedeschi and Lawrence Calhoun, post-traumatic growth is a term characterized by positive psychological changes in those affected by PTSD, often finding new meaning from their experiences and thriving in the aftermath of trauma. 

With 25 years of research backing it, post-traumatic growth is a phenomenon we see it playing out in front of us daily. From war and natural disasters to injuries and sexual assault, trauma is the catalyst for growth and transformation, helping you build strength and resilience in areas in your life you least expect.

  Let’s explore five ways post-traumatic growth can help you thrive:

1. A New Appreciation For Life

When experiencing fear and loss from trauma, we’re often confronted with the threat of losing the things we cherish most in life and thus start to take notice of the things we previously overlooked or took for granted.  

Post-traumatic growth shifts our mindset, creating a sense of gratitude toward the life we’ve been given. Whether it's the view of the sunrise or the taste of your morning coffee, mundane moments no longer seem so small and are experienced through new eyes and with greater appreciation.

2. Discovering Personal Strength

Working through trauma makes you better equipped to handle future problems, increases your resiliency in the face of adversity, and helps you discover new strengths.

It also instills confidence when facing new challenges as past experiences give you the insight needed to navigate difficult situations.

3. Exploring New Possibilities

Surviving trauma can cause one to re-evaluate their life completely. From developing new hobbies and rethinking priorities to changing jobs and moving across the country, the aftermath of trauma helps survivors see new possibilities in life. You may find that where you once felt stuck you now see purpose, possibilities, and value. Life itself may look and feel different than ever before. Introspection and new ideas born of your traumatic experience can make the present moment seem more precious.

 Not only that but mental and emotional doors that previously seemed closed to you can feel more and more accessible. You may feel excited to invest your mind, body, and talents for causes that reflect your perception of new potentialities and opportunities.

 In summary, post-traumatic growth allows one to see new pathways for themselves that they otherwise would have never dreamed of pursuing if it weren’t for their trauma.

4. Spiritual Growth

In the aftermath of trauma, we often turn to something larger than ourselves to make sense of what happened and why it happened the way it did. Whether spiritual, religious or something else entirely, a belief system helps us cope with traumatic experiences and create new worldviews. In other words, post-traumatic growth can help us create a deeper understanding of the world and discover our place in it.

5. Improved Relationships

Improved relationships are often cultivated from the need to give and receive support through difficult times. One of the biggest impacts trauma can have on us is how it affects our ability to connect with others and trust people. As you heal and work to process the unhealthy connections or lost relationships in your life, your perspective on people may have shifted.

 Those coming out of trauma are likely to recognize the importance of the relationships in their life, especially ones overlooked in the past. Perhaps you value community and social connection more. You may find newfound empathy, compassion, and altruism. You might simply feel an openness toward humanity that you couldn't tap into before your trauma or for some time afterward. Your post-traumatic breakthrough may simply be evidenced by your unwillingness to take the people in your life for granted. Moreover, reaching out for help, expressing emotions, and learning to rely on others strengthens connections and fosters post-traumatic growth.  

Looking For Trauma Treatment In Cincinnati?

Therapy Cincinnati is a mental health group practice specializing in trauma therapy for women located in the Cincinnati area, ready to partner with you on your journey towards growth and healing. Schedule a free 15-minute call with one of our therapists today to see if we’re a good fit for you.

Trauma: How to Begin Healing from Relationship Trauma

Suffering trauma during your relationship can leave you feeling wounded and alone – however, it doesn’t have to be this way. Indeed, while it can be a long and sometimes tiring process, healing from relationship trauma is entirely possible.

As such, today, we’ve outlined a few simple things you should know to begin healing from relationship trauma; in turn, we hope this may help you find suitable solutions for your own recovery needs.

How to Begin Healing From Relationship Trauma

If you’ve experienced emotional or relationship trauma of any sort, chances are, you aren’t feeling quite yourself anymore. Indeed, relationship trauma can often represent a painful blow to our self-esteem and self-confidence – but it doesn’t have to be this way. And hopefully, the following four points may help you to begin recovering from your emotional trauma, too.

#1 Acknowledge The Trauma

In so many cases, it’s easy to feel guilty or ashamed by the traumas we have faced during our past relationships. It can often feel more natural to simply hide from these.

However, the first step to recovering from relationship trauma – and, if you’re reading this today, you may be on the path to achieving this – is to accept and acknowledge the trauma you suffered.

Don’t hide away from it; coming to terms with the trauma, though painful, can help you begin moving on.

#2 Focus on the Present

One of the most common limitations that hold many people back from recovering from relationship trauma is a tendency to live in the past. Indeed, in so many cases, focusing on the trauma you experienced (though natural) can leave you missing out on all of the great opportunities you could be enjoying in your life.

So, while this can seem difficult, try to focus on the good things in your immediate present. The little things go a long way; take some time out to relax with a soothing bath, a hot cup of cocoa, or simply spending time with a friend or loved one. Always make sure you have things to look forwards to every day; these can help give you a focus to move forwards, rather than allowing your mind to slip and dwell on the trauma you suffered in the past.

#3 Have People By Your Side to Help

Recovering from relationship trauma can be painful at times. There may be times you would rather shake off the pain and forget about it existing. However, this will likely only leave you back at square one, struggling to come to terms with your own emotions.

It doesn’t have to be this way – and having a strong, stable support network is crucial to consider. Whether it’s a friend, a family member, or a healing professional, ensuring there’s someone by your side who can support you throughout the process is an integral part of healing from your traumas.

#4 Always Take it Slow and Steady

There’s an old saying: “slow and steady wins the race.” When it comes to healing from relationship trauma, this is something that’s irrefutably true, and it’s something we highly recommend you hold close throughout your recovery.

Indeed, emotional pain and trauma can cause far deeper wounds than you might even know yourself; this sort of pain can’t simply be overcome in a few days. Instead, gentle, careful, and patient perseverance is required to find the best solutions and rediscover your strength. But remember: you will get there, and there are people by your side who want to help you feel yourself again.

Final Thoughts

If you’re ready to take that final step towards recovering from emotional or relationship trauma, please ensure you’ve gotten compassionate and caring support from someone who can help you recover from the trauma you have faced.

Discovering you need support to begin healing from your relationship trauma is the hardest step. From here, recovering just takes time, care, compassion, and acceptance – and if you feel you need any further support in this regard, we can help you find the most effective strategies for your own recovery.

Please don’t feel like you ever have to face things alone; we’re here to help you find your past confidence once more!

The Feelings & Emotions of Trauma (Part 2):

Trauma is intensely physically and psychologically upsetting, and the emotional effects of trauma can be equally distressing. When the brain’s ability to protect itself and process information becomes hijacked through a traumatic experience, the mind can become emotionally dysregulated. As a result, many trauma survivors experience extreme difficulty understanding and processing the intensity of the emotions that their trauma elicited. The more frightening or unexpected a traumatic experience is, the more extreme and complex the resulting emotions surrounding the trauma will likely be. In this article, we will take a closer look at the emotional effects of trauma.

Anger – I feel repulsed. This isn’t fair. I should just move on from this, but I can’t! I’m too angry about it.

You have every right to be furious. Anger is a very common, normal, and valid emotion to have following a traumatic experience. Trauma triggers anger because trauma is violating in every sense, and it is completely justifiable to be outraged about vulnerability being exploited. While anger can initially be a healthy reaction to trauma, anger can become a traumatic emotion in and of itself. This is because anger often reminds the mind of the reason behind the anger, and in this way long-term anger can lead to re-living and re-experiencing the trauma mentally. If you are experiencing long term anger from trauma, know that re-traumatizing your mind will only make it harder to find healing. Through recovery, that anger can be processed and transformed into acceptance, advocacy, and ultimately, healing.  

Shame & Guilt – I should never have trusted them. I must have done something to deserve this. Was it my fault? Could I have done something different?

The dehumanizing and degrading nature of trauma can distort someone’s self-identity and self-worth and leave victims of trauma. The idea that the trauma is the fault of the victim is one of the myths of trauma. The reality is that what happened to you was not your fault at all. There is absolutely nothing you could possibly have done that would warrant or justify what happened. No one ever deserves to be traumatized, over-powered, or have their no or resistance not respected entirely. Learn more about the truth behind this myth by seeing my earlier blog post Trauma vs. Truth – Myths About Trauma (Part 1) 

Fear – I can’t trust anyone ever again. I’m scared of being alone, but I am also scared to be with someone. What do I do?

There is a very strong link between trauma, anxiety, and PTSD, and that link is fear. When trauma overpowers your natural ability to protect yourself, it is normal to feel powerless and afraid. Fear is a natural reaction when coping with the aftershock of a traumatic experience. You were not safe, but you can become safe again. Healing from trauma requires courage, so please do not lose heart. The fear will subside, and there are trustworthy people who are safe to partner with on your journey towards healing and recovery. You might be tempted to withdraw into isolation, but this will make things worse. If you are struggling with intense paralyzing fear, please do not suffer alone. Please contact us and we will help you re-establish and re-build your sense of security and safety.

Confusion – I can’t remember what happened, but I think something happened. I don’t remember much. I just have brief vague memories.

Confusion is another extremely common emotion to have after experiencing trauma. When a traumatic experience is specifically extreme, the mind can “shut down” as form of survival, and the mind can physically block memories it is unable to process as a form of psychological protection. If you suspect that “something” happened to you, then that is enough to work with. You do not need to remember or recall the details of what happened in order to experience healing. Whether your mind remembers what happened or not, the body has other memory functions. Your body remembers what happened even if your brain does not, and in this way, trauma memories can manifest itself in your life even if you don’t have many or any memories about what happened. Where you remember what happened or not, your body deserves the opportunity to heal.  

How to emotionally heal from trauma

Trauma can leave invisible scars on the body, mind, and soul. These scars can manifest emotionally distressing feelings that can perpetuate the sense of powerlessness you might be experiencing. The road to trauma recovery takes time, and there is no one path that is right for everyone. Traumatic emotions are very complex and unique to each individual, but through specialized trauma recovery treatments that are therapists are trained in you have the power to transform each of these painful emotions into a more useful, helpful, and hopeful one, even if you cannot remember what happened. Healing and reclaiming power over your body, mind, and emotions, is possible. Please contact us for a consultation and take the next step towards healing today.

The Feelings & Emotions of Trauma (Part 1):

Trauma vs. Truth – Myths About Trauma

Trauma is experienced when our ability to protect ourselves is overpowered in a shocking, frightening, overwhelming, and abusive way. When someone experiences trauma in a place they had thought they were safe or through the actions of someone they thought they were safe with, the long-term side effects of trauma can feel completely confusing and debilitating. While some people are able to find healing over time and re-establish a sense of security, the impact of trauma often results in long-term conditions such as PTSD, Complex PTSD, and anxiety.

While the world is increasingly becoming more trauma-aware, the unfortunate reality is that traumatized people often struggle to find healing because of the myths and feelings that surround trauma. Let’s discuss a few of the more common myths that someone who has experienced trauma might think, feel, or believe.

4 Myths about trauma and why they are completely false.

1.      Myth: It was my fault.
Fact: It was not your fault. 

Shame is one of the most damaging trauma side effects, and that shame belongs to the perpetrator. Not you. Your mind is programed to identify and neutralize threats through the predominant survival modes of fighting or fleeing. But because a traumatic experience is by nature usually very shocking, a third survival mode may become activated: freezing. Because the survival mode of freezing is not often talked about or collectively understood, many people struggle to process WHY they froze, and this can lead to intense feelings of shame. Freezing is a legitimate, brain-triggered survival mode, and it is not a reflection of some form of deficiency, moral or otherwise.

 2.      Myth: I must have done something to deserve this.
Fact: There is absolutely nothing you could possibly have done that would warrant or justify what happened. No one ever deserves to be traumatized, over-powered, or have their no or resistance not respected entirely. 

Unfortunately, because some traumatic experiences can involve someone you know, it can be  difficult to assign fault to someone you used to care about or trust. As a result, it is common for a victim of trauma to distort the image they have of themselves in order to make sense of why something happened, but this is not an appropriate or accurate judgement. The fault is the perpetrators. Not yours. You did not deserve the pain, betrayal, or loss of control that you experienced.

3.      Myth: I am dirty.
Fact: You are not dirty. You are wholesome.

 Trauma is repulsive in many ways, in particular because it is so overwhelmingly overpowering. The hormones that “fear” produces can have similar side effects as other hormones, but rest assured: you are not dirty. You were afraid, confused, and overpowered, and this was not your fault. One of the saddest side effects of trauma is that people who experience trauma (especially if they were children when the trauma happened) might feel completely baffled. As they struggle to problem solve and make sense of what happened, they might wonder if they wanted what happened.  

Take comfort in the truth that no one ever wants to have their control taken from them; that is not a desire the human mind could want. Rather our brains are programed to want control, authority, and protection over itself. When someone’s natural ability to keep themselves safe is challenged or overpowered, the individual’s perception of their own identity and self-worth often becomes compromised. The truth that is you are still you, and you are worthy of safety and protection.  

4.      Myth: I will feel damaged/traumatized forever.
Fact: Trauma is NOT a life-sentence.

 Trauma can feel all-consuming, and it is completely normal for you to feel emotionally “stuck” after experiencing trauma. Trauma exploits vulnerability, and the amount of confusion and fear that is associated with surviving trauma can prevent survivors from experiencing healing and recovery. The truth is that Post-Traumatic Growth (PTG) is possible. Even if you don’t remember what happened, your can still experience joy, a renewed sense of personal strength and security, and deep internal healing.

 You are worthy of healing.

Traumatic experiences transcend your body and mind’s natural ability to cope with confusion and pain. It is for this reason that many survivors struggle to integrate, rationalize, and process the emotions involved with a traumatic experience – which is completely understandable and normal. There are many false narratives surrounding trauma that are perpetuated by myths. Whether your trauma happened to you recently or many years ago, it can take time to personally and internally abolish the myths associated with trauma. The first step to deconstructing the myths that surround trauma is to be open and curious to the truth about trauma.

The truth about trauma.

It was not your fault. There was nothing you did to deserve what happened. You are not dirty. You are wholesome and worthy. What happened to you is not a life-sentence. You are not permanently damaged. Your sense of safety and wellbeing has been hurt, but the good news is that reconciliation with your internal sense of self-worth and self-security is more than possible – it is achievable. If you would like the support of a highly trained, experienced, and empathetic therapist, please contact our office today.

This article is part of a three-part series about trauma.

Complex PTSD and Attachment

Everyone has an Attachment Style. People with a Secure Attachment Style generally find security and fulfillment in their relationships. Someone with an Insecure Attachment Style may experience tremendous anxiety in their relationships, or they might even avoid relationships all together.  

Your Attachment Style is most often formed from your first human bond. Those who had a positive connection with their primary care giver as an infant typically will develop a Secure Attachment Style, but if your first human connection involved abandonment, fear, trauma, abuse, or severe neglect, an Insecure Attachment Style likely developed. The quality of the first attachment you ever experienced is often what lays the foundation for all your future attachments.  

Complex PTSD Attachment Style

Because an Insecure Attachment Style can be the result of a traumatic relationship, it is possible for someone with an Insecure Attachment Style to also have Complex PTSD. Complex PTSD is trauma from something that repeatedly occurred or else happened over a long period of time. If you at any point in your life were in an unhealthy relationship where continuous trauma was experienced, you may have Complex PTSD Attachment Style. 

If you find yourself avoiding commitment, intimacy, or deep connections, or else if your relationships cause you intense anxiety and distress, you may have Complex PTSD Attachment Style.  

Recovery from Complex PTSD Attachment Style is Possible 

Coping with Complex PTSD Attachment Style can feel overwhelming and isolating, but the good news is that you can heal from Complex PTSD and develop a Secure Attachment Style. Supportive and loving connections with others can be very therapeutic. Engaging in healthy relationships with people who have a Secure Attachment Style can help you overcome the pain and damage caused from past traumatic relationships. Fortunately, secure relationships come in many forms such as with friends, family, romantic connections, and therapists. By finding healthy ways to have meaningful interactions with trustworthy and secure people, you can your broken bond and feel whole and secure again.  

Reflect – Making Sense of the Past will Inspire a Better Future

 The first step to recovery involves deep reflection of your past. Processing through the root cause of your Complex PTSD and identifying the “why” behind your Attachment Style can be upsetting at first, but with the support and guidance of a compassionate therapist you can obtain the clarity you need in a safe place. By facing the impact of your past relationship trauma and understanding how it influenced you, you can break free from unhealthy, Complex PTSD-influenced habit patterns.  

You can break free from the cycle of trauma to ensure that what happened to you does not ever happen to you again. As you reconcile with your past, you will gain valuable self-awareness which will impact your future relationships in a positive way. For those who have struggled to find peace and security in their relationships, recovering from Complex PTSD Attachment Style is life changing and empowering. 

Incorporate – Rewiring and Healing Your Mind
When we are traumatized, our brains react with a fight or flight response to adapt to the situation. In the moment of trauma, this adaptation likely saved your life. However, people who have Complex PTSD may end up becoming stuck in fight or flight mode. Navigating life and relationships through a traumatized mindset is exhausting and painful and will not help you build the secure attachments you crave.

 There is hope. What happened to you was not your fault, and you deserve to heal. With support, it is possible to create new neural pathways so that your nervous system can process triggering moments without causing you unnecessary panic or anxiety. By reprogramming your nervous system and adopting new thought patterns, you can make the shift from Complex PTSD Attachment style to Secure Attachment style.  

Connect – Recover Through Secure Connection
Our ability to form healthy bonds and Secure Attachments can be both disrupted and repaired by relationships. In other words, relationships can be both the cause and the answer. Unhealthy relationships can leave you traumatized, but through healthy relationships you can experience healing and develop a Secure Attachment Style. To build healthy and secure attachments, you must first cultivate an emotional resilience in an environment where you feel safe.   

By experiencing healthy interactions in safe environments with reliable people, you will develop the capacity to express yourself authentically with others in your life. Through the supportive bonds of healthy friendships, romantic relationships, and/or therapeutic interactions you can achieve secure and healing connections. Overcoming Complex PTSD Attachment Style is a process that requires patience and committing to therapy is a great place to start. Therapeutic connections can help you develop past the narrative that caused your Complex PTSD and put you on the path of recovery. 

Healing and Recovery from Complex PTSD Attachment Style is Possible and Worth the Effort.

 Recovery requires time, space, and compassion. Our highly trained and certified trauma experts are ready to work with you. Through supportive, healing, and appropriate interactions, we will help you identify the triggers and perspectives that influence your reactions and teach you grounding techniques to help you develop security in your relationships with others.

 If you are someone with Complex PTSD who struggles with an Insecure Attachment, know that there is hope. You are not your complex PTSD or your attachment style. What happened to you compromised the way you form attachments, and this was not your fault at all. You are not what happened to you, and finding security in meaningful and safe relationships where your needs are valued and cared for is possible.  

We hope that you decide to move forward and find peace. At Therapy Cincinnati we believe you deserve to feel safe, worthy, and supported in your relationships. If you would like the support of qualified, compassionate, and trauma-informed licensed therapist on your journey towards healing, please contact us for a free 15-minute consultation.

5 Ways to Cope with PTSD By Yourself

Those who are struggling with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) know how intrusive and powerful a trigger can be. One moment everything is fine, and then a situation, sound, or smell can be the catalyst that initiates a terrifying episodic reaction. These flashbacks can feel paralyzing. Fortunately, in this struggle between the past and present there is hope. Therapy Cincinnati considers a self-regulating strategy to be an essential part of a successful PTSD treatment plan. With the appropriate support, those coping with PTSD can overcome the traumatic experiences of their past and ultimately find healing and peace.

Managing Trauma – 5 Ways to Stay Grounded

“Trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence.” – Peter A. Levine

1.      Activate your present senses.
PTSD is a reliving or re-experiencing of the emotions felt during a past traumatic experience. When your PTSD is triggered, ground yourself in the present reality by tapping into all five of your senses. For example, if you are in public and you feel a panic attack starting, think 5-4-3-2-1 and observe your surroundings. Can you identify five things you see? Perhaps a puddle, tree, store window, traffic light, or park bench? Listen. Do you hear wind, people talking, your own breathing, or your heartbeat? Become aware of what you might be holding. What different textures can you feel? Your hair, your jean pockets, or a cool breeze? Can you smell the nearby restaurant or freshly cut grass? Can you taste anything? Perhaps a mint or a drink? Triggers are usually the result of only one or two senses being activated in a reminiscent way that incites fear. By focusing on the 5-4-3-2-1 method your mind will reconcile the past with the new current information to keep you grounded in the present reality.

“The best way out is always through.” – Robert Frost

2.      Practice a specific anxiety-inspired breathing technique.
Breathing is essential for regulating fear, but anxiety can cause lungs to tighten and restrict your ability to take a proper deep breath. This is why telling someone to breath when they are stressed is very rarely effective. When attempting to counteract a panic attack, breathing can feel physically impossible. One of our favorite breathing techniques for anxiety that we teach at Therapy Cincinnati includes three back-to-back very quick, short, and shallow inhalations followed by one single long exhale. Try it: quick tiny breath in, two, three… and exhale. Those struggling with PTSD and anxiety may not be able to breath normally, so relying on this breathing technique of three short inhales followed by one long exhale can help maintain oxygen flow in a regulating and supportive way.

“Rhythm is regulating.” ― Bruce D. Perry, M.D., Ph.D.

3.      Move.

There is a reason why people pace when they are nervous. Finding a rhythmic way to move can release trauma. Movement therapy has proven to be very effective with counteracting the negative effects of PTSD. For example, many who cope with PTSD-inspired nightmares report experiencing more restful nights of sleep after spending an evening dancing, running, or working out. Finding your rhythm by walking, tapping your foot, or rocking back and forth can help you keep control over your body’s physical reaction to the traumatic trigger.

“Even the smallest steps move you forward.” – Oprah Winfrey

4.      Self-sooth with muscle relaxation exercises.

Muscle memory is real. When triggered, muscles can immediately tense as the body’s fight or flight response is activated. While this survival instinct may have served you in the past, you can ground yourself by relaxing your muscles through a sequence of muscle relaxation exercises. To do this, carefully tighten and raise your shoulders up to your ears. Hold for three seconds and then release and relax. Next, make a strong fist and tense your arm muscles. Hold for three seconds and then release and relax. You can practice this on any part of your body such as scrunching up your face, curling your toes, or clenching your leg muscles, and then releasing and relaxing. Repeat this tense-release muscle therapy exercise until you feel that you have gained control over your muscle’s reaction. When finished, gently massage your hands to continue grounding yourself in the present reality.

“I’m still coping with my trauma but coping by trying to find different ways to heal it rather than hide it.” – Clemantine Wamariya

5.      Listen to music.

Music therapy is profound in its ability to help us cope with pain. At Therapy Cincinnati, we have some patients who intentionally and proactively find ways to incorporate soothing music in every aspect of their life. If you are sensing rising panic turn on some calming music and sing along. If you do not have immediate access to music you can always whistle, hum, or sing to yourself. 

Making recovery your reality.

For those who struggle to stay grounded, know that you are not alone. It is estimated that nearly 10% of the world’s population will experience a trauma resulting in PTSD. The good news is that there is so much hope. PTSD has been extensively studied and researched by trauma therapists, and many experience recovery by finding healthy ways to leave the past in the past. If you are ready to take the next step towards developing a trauma therapy plan uniquely customized to your specific needs our trauma aware PTSD specialized therapists at Therapy Cincinnati are ready to partner with you on your journey to finding comfort and healing. Please contact us today for a free, 15-minute phone consultation.

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