What to Say About Bodies and Swimsuits This Summer

Pool days are back. For a lot of teen girls, so is a low hum of self-consciousness about wearing a swimsuit in front of other people.

You might notice her skipping the pool, finding excuses to avoid the swimsuit shopping trip, or saying she “doesn’t feel like” going to the lake this year. Usually that just means she’s noticing her body more than she used to, and picking up on a lot of messages about what that’s supposed to mean.

What you say in these moments matters more than you’d think. Here’s a real guide to talking with your teen about body image and swimsuits this summer, plus a few signs worth paying attention to.

Why Swimsuit Season Hits Different for Teen Girls

Puberty changes a body fast, and a swimsuit shows more of that change than almost anything else she wears. She’s also comparing herself to friends, to people at the pool, and to whatever she’s scrolling past online.

None of this is new, but it feels different once she’s old enough to really notice it. A 13-year-old who loved her swimsuit last summer might feel completely different about the same body this year, and that’s normal.

Comments to Skip This Summer

A few lines tend to land wrong, even when you mean them kindly: “You’ll look so cute once you...”, “You’ve got such a pretty face,” “Have you lost weight?” or “You’re getting so skinny.”

Comparing her body to a sibling’s or a friend’s backfires too, even when it’s meant as a compliment. So does joking about your own body in front of her, like calling yourself “fat” before putting on a swimsuit.

Other Places This Comes Up This Summer

This shows up in more than swimsuits. Locker rooms before sports practice, beach trips with friends, even trying on summer clothes can bring up the same feelings.

The same approach works in every one of these spots. Keep the focus on what she’s doing and how she feels, not how her body looks doing it.

What to Say Instead

Talk About Function, Not Looks

Ask how the swimsuit feels to swim in, not how it looks on her. “Does that one feel good when you’re moving around?” sounds better than “That’s so cute on you.”

Compliment Something Other Than Her Body

Tell her she’s brave for trying out for the swim team, or that she had everyone cracking up at the pool. Compliment what she did. Skip the comment about how she looked doing it.

Watch Your Own Self-Talk

If you wince at the mirror or joke about needing to “earn” a swimsuit body, she’s listening even when you think she’s not. Teens copy what they see up close more than they listen to advice. Keep that kind of talk private, or better yet, try to change how you talk overall.

When It's More Than Swimsuit Jitters

A little nervousness about a swimsuit is normal. A few signs point to something beyond the usual seasonal awkwardness:

•        Pulling back from things she used to enjoy, like swim team, pool days, or sleepovers at the lake

•        Body talk that feels heavier than typical teasing, like fixating on one body part or constantly comparing herself to other girls

•        More anxiety than usual before things like gym class, swimsuit shopping, or pool parties

•        A drop in how she talks about herself in general, not just her body, but her confidence overall

Any one of these on its own might be nothing. A few of them together, especially if they continue to be something that comes up, are worth taking note.

How Therapy Helps With Body Image

Therapy gives teens a place to talk about this stuff without a parent in the room, which matters a lot at this age. A good therapist helps her build confidence based on more than how she looks in a swimsuit.

In sessions, that might mean figuring out where the negative self-talk is coming from, practicing how to respond to comments from friends, or just having a steady adult to talk to who isn’t a parent.

At Therapy Cincinnati, most of our 7 therapists work with teens, and several focus on body image, self-esteem, and the bigger feelings that show up around moments like this. We see clients in person around the greater Cincinnati area, and offer telehealth appointments anywhere in Ohio, so distance doesn’t have to be the reason she waits.

Talk to Someone Who Gets It

If you’re noticing some of these signs, or you just want a second opinion on how she’s doing, you don’t have to figure it out on your own. A lot of parents wait until things feel like a crisis before reaching out. You don’t have to wait for that.